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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33803
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My daughters father and I separated over 6 years ago and since

Resolved Question:

My daughters father and I separated over 6 years ago and since this time he has lived to be a chaotic lifestyle. He has had a baby with another woman whom he has now separated with and has children services involvement. He has also had 7 other girlfriends, each one he has involved my daughter with. His most recent girlfriend stabbed him in the neck and she now also has children services involvement. He now has another new girlfriend who he met over the internet and he has told me daughter he is going to arrange for them to meet. I have serious concerns over the emotional impact this is having on my daughter and I am also concerned about the level of domestic violence that she may have witnessed previously. How can I stop him from doing as he pleases when he has contact?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What is the current pattern of contact?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare
Currently he has his daughter every Friday after school, one weekend he will keep her overnight and the next Friday he will bring her home at 7pm. The alternate weekend he has her overnight on a sat. He did have her one night through the week however I found out that out of a possible 34 swimming lessons my daughter missed 16 as he wasn't taking her but instead was making my daughter lie to me and say she was going.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Aside from the girlfriend issue does contact go well on fridays?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
We have had lots of issues mainly him asking my daughter to lie about things which have led to her being put at risk. For example being strapped in the back of a car with four other children and no car seats. Also, there have been incidents of domestic violence between him and his previous partners although I have no idea who his new girlfriend is as they met over the internet and have only been dating a few months. The difficult thing is that I know my daughter enjoys spending time with him although I wonder how superficial this contact is.
She also used to come home in tears as he would tell her how lonely he was and how he wanted more time with her which I think is emotionally abusive.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Does he have any other family members who you could trust to ensure contact is child focussed
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes his mother. She now takes her to her swimming lessons and he accompanies her.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Would you be happier if she stayed with her grandmother and her father?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes however he would never agree to this
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Given the problems that have arisen it is reasonable for you to have concerns about what is happening to your child during contact - and also to want to delay her being introduced to his latest girlfriend until the relationship is well established.
You should offer to discuss this with him using Family mediation
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
If this fails and you continue to have concerns then you may need to apply to the court for a prohibited Steps Order to ensure that your ex no longer involves his new partners in contact
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33803
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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