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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33946
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hi clare, I was really emotional today at councilling session

Customer Question

Hi clare, I was really emotional today at councilling session many many weeks. I was so tearful. My councillor was very upset for me. It all the stress SS, divorce.
Asma
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
I can only imagine how hard it is for you - you are doing well
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, I want to show I am coping but the past always brings more heartfelt tears for me. When I show that people think I am not stable. I am so desperate for more frequent contact with my children. Atleast it would give me some ease to cope. But the LA are totally refusing. By having regular contact with my children would motivate me towards my goal.
I am not asking for return just more I see them it would give me my mind peace.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am sorry that your needs are not taken into account with regard to contact.
I am afraid that your motivation must come from within
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, it is within that is why I have no other option is to go the freedom programme course. My counsellor is advising is to read on the book 'the secret'. I don't know if you have heard of the book.
To have any chance of more contact I have to go through all this emotional hardship.
Ex has done a very good job of ruining my life is still Is with this messy divorce.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
HI
I have not heard of it - but I will look out for it
Do not underestimate how well you are doing - you have much to be proud of
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, I am going to start next 3 week workshop at womens trust west london. Each week topic they are going to talk about unhappy memories, mourning our losses, goal setting for the future. This workshop will be good for me to go on.
My solicitor will wait until Monday if she doesn't recieve the cheque by then she will make the application for enforcement order on Tuesday.
I am assuming ex will pay on Monday the cheque to avoid enforcement.
I still don't know how I lived with a man like him. I was really unhappy and totally demaged by him physically, mentally, emotionally and financially.
For 17 years I am now free from him. He is still manipulating and abusing me and the system.
He never cared about me or the childen it was all about the money and control.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am glad to hear the positives - do try and stay strong
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare, I will be applying for one bedroom flat in the West midland area. I will move back but it will be a safe place ex don't know where I live. I really don't like it here in London. It's so far away and all the travelling from London to midlands to see my children extemely hard.
Once the divorce is finalised then I will be plannng to move back. I can't settle here.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I think that is very wise
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, if my solicitor does not recieve cheque from ex husband by tomorrow she will make an application for enforcement on Tuesday.
I don't understand why ex and his solicitor their lack of co operation is not helping.
I assume exhusband plan is the longer this case prolongs then he wants me to give up the claim.
Bacause it's both parties each hearing. He thinks the longer he carries on like this I will eventually get fed up and give up.
His not understanding the process the longer he refuses to come clean it will more difficult for him to get the divorce finalised.
Judge will clearly see his lack of compliance.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I think you are showing great insight into the matter
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33946
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare thank you. We have to wait and see what happens in the next few days
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Remember to look after yourself
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare, I view my children's photos and videos they are all my motivation. By seeing them I have to do all this for them and prepare myself to be a mother to them in the near future. My children are my inspiration.
My well being is very important for my life and my children's lives in the near future.
Thank you for your support and guidance. There is still a long way to go!!
Asma
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, My preference is to move back in the Midlands after the divorce and finance is settled. Ex paid the waste cost order paid on Friday. my solicitor will recieve the cheque within 3 working days.
It will best to inform my child care solicitor my plan for the future.
If I move near my children contact will be easier to travel there will be no issues with living arrangment.
I am not sure if she will continue to deal with my case if I was plan to move back.
Also I will have to put an injunction against ex.
The freedom programme is very challenging for me.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Yes keep your solicitor updated -and yes I know it is challenging - it has to be
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, my moving back after the divorce would make a big difference, I will keep her updated. They maybe other solicitors in the Midlands that could deal with my case.
I don't have to stay with the one I have. The freedom programme has to be completed in all fairness.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Yes it is best to wait until that is completed first
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, I am hoping.I can get a report from the support worker and the other changes I have done parenting course, weekly Councilling, volunteer work that I am doing.
There are some evidence my solicitor could show when I go back to apply more contact.
Freedom programme it's taking its toll on me its worser than the divorce I am go through.
I really don't know why I am struggling with the programme. Support worker is saying I am going doing the theory, I am not saying about myself how I was affected and children. She is saying I am kind of distancing myself from this and just doing the theory.
I have never felt this hardship at all.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You must engage fully I am afraid if you are ever going to understand what happened and why
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare, some positive outcome ex had paid the cost to avoid further enforcement. If he paid earlier when it was suppose to he would not be getting warning letters.
His just try to act dumb and play with the system. That's what his doing try to control. It's all going opposite for him. I am fully engaging it's hard but it has to be done. Otherwise Iv nothing to demonstrate.
Asma
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, if I am unable to show bank statements that he contributed to the other two, what other way can I evident he is also has beneficial interest in those two houses?
I am trying to find a way I can show that ex has an interest in other two.
Thank you
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You must find some thing to show a connection I am afraid
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, my solicitor has given rough estimate time frame that is would take until Middle of next year for the divorce and finance to be completed. There is another why that ex had drawn up power of attorney with his brother that he can deal with his brothers finance if his not around.
I am not sure if ex brother can be called to court to give evidence, otherwise I have just One house I may get. But ex has remortgaged it moved the money somewhere else. I am not confident that I may not get good reasonable outcome
Next week is important hearing.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
The fact that he has moved the money may well help with proving that his finances and those of his brother are intermingled - he has to show where it has gone
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, can I raise in the questionnaire that ex husband has been receiving rent from three properties? It would show in his bank statement. The bank statement he is not showed that rent maybe payed direct to his account through an estate agent.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You need to see all the bank statements and can insist on doing so
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare, it's not going to be easy to get anything through ex the judge will have to order. As we know ex is very uncooperative through all this process. I will have literally spell it all out clearly and be demanding and ask for relevant bank statements so I can fully see where is money coming from. He is deliberately being really awkward and stubbon. He only complies when the authority orders him. But he doesn't seem to change his attitude towards the system
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Yes that is exactly what you will need to do - so prepare well!
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, I met with my solicitor today to preparers a lot of questions. She says that ex is very greedy person, he is getting very good source of income through rent, benfits, I need to show proof that he is also working.
We need to raise where the money is coming from each week. Spent 3 hours with her going through the questionnaire.
There a loads of questions we are hoping the judge will direct. Also request for conveyancing file for the two houses in question. It will hopefully clearly show indepth details.
I am relieved meeting went well today.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Well done
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, I am a bit nervous next week I am going see ex he clearly won't be happy. I am taking a friend with me for moral support.
All my life I am various challenges in my life. I don't know how I am coping with all this.
It's the stamina I have just for thr sake of my children. More challenges ahead my mind I have to be well prepared.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You are doing well - stay strong
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, soon as divorce is finalised I willbe planning to move back to midlands. Not the area where ex resides. Maybe in Birmingham so I can be more accessible to my children. Travelling won't be a hurdle for me.
I really do not want to settle in London I am not adjusting well at all here.
I hope divorce ends well and soon.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
That sounds like a good plan
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, solicitor has prepared the questionnaire now. She will submit to court and OTher side on Tuesday. But she will wait until the OS sends theirs first before she sends ours.
Because of thier non compliance she wants theirs first. If not she will just the copy to court direct.
If they don't comply or follow then they maybe risk of another waste cost order.
We have to see what happens next week.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for the update
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, what my concern is because ex didn't put the claim I did. So he has no issues to raise I have. If my solicitor does not send the questionnaire on time then ex might just get away with it.
So it is important for the questionnaire to be sent to the OS and court soon as possible. The longer this carries on ex might get away with the raised issues.
What do you think? Am I making any sence of this?
Thank you
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
It does not work like that
he is entitled to raise questions and issues in the same way that you are - your solicitor is in fact being sensible
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, yes I am sure ex has questions he will raise no doubt, but it's my solicitor she wants their questionnaire first before she sends mine!!
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Yes that is an excellent tactic on her part
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, why is she using this tactic for you think?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
To get a feel for what the other side are looking for
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, that's makes so much sence. She has a real good technic she is going to use. She said that ex solicitors they don't have much expertise on family matters. Which maybe a plus point for us!!
That is why she is waiting for the OS to raise so she is prepared for next hearing.
I have a good solicitor she is gear in my case.
Asma
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi clare, if we don't send the questionnaire on time then I am concerned that it might go against us, if ex sends his questionnire on time then, judge will not be happy with our delay in sending our questionnaire to the OS. We may get a penalty on this for non compliance.
Because ex will not back down he will raise the questionnaire will be done no later than tuesday. I think my solictor maybe make an error for not sending the prepared questionnaire on time.
She is got suspicion that the OS will not send thier questionnaire on time.
What do you think of this?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
HI
Do not worry there is no risk of that
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi clare,
I seperated from ex husband May 13.I am legally separated from him can my claim still be ongoing what ever income he is receiving currently?Or when I made the application in May 14 for ancillary relief? Am I not entitled to claim any of his income since the seperation,just what asset he may have during the course of the marriage?
Thank you
Asma

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