I believe my ex-wife is sabotaging financial settlement, probably because she believes that I will give up and reunite with her or agree to her demands. Decree Nisi was granted month ago, arrangements for children are to be solved in court (12 Nov is 1st hearing), after mediation did not work out. She is either verbally and physically aggressive or crying every time we meet or talk. At mediation she demands 70% of assets for herself. We ve been separated already for two years. I am planning to obtain decree absolute as soon as I can, just to stop this emotional turmoil. What should I do then with the financial settlement??, mediation or solicitor negotiations are likely to be emotionally and financially draining and most straightforward options for me either to file with the court or do nothing. I am paying mortgage on the house she lives in and mortgage is in my name only , and the house has massive equity. Kids 13 and 16. Am I loosing or risking anything by getting absolute before financial settlement?? Equity in our matrimonial home she lives in is 200k, I live in a house with equity around 75k, I have a small premarital apartment abroad worth around 40k (she wants this to be split as well together with everything else); savings little to none
I gave you slightly more precise figures all again: Matrimonial home is valued at 270k, with mortgage left 54k; cheaper 3 bed house in this area can be bought for ~210-230k; the house I live in is valued at 280k with mortgage 195k; apartment abroad 40k. My penseion transfer value 168k, her pension transfer value 72k. My income before any deductions 54k, her income 37k. Older child goes to private school 2 years left, 12k per year; savings-- me 16k; she 5k; credit card debt -- me 5k, she 3k
she wants 70% of everything, including my premarital apartment, wants me to transfer 54k mortgage in her name, which is on a very low rate, proposes that I either disappear from children lives or they stay 4 nights per month maximum with me .. end of proposal.. I want : my premarital apartment ring-fenced, split the rest 50-50 or close, I continue mortgage payments on matrimonial home, till the younger one is 18, or she forms relationship..
She has not asked about anything related to pension... I do not think she or me fully understand how we can play pensions around.. about 2/3 rds of our pensions are contribution by employers, and only 1/3 or even 1/4 are the actual savings from our salaries
We lived together for about 17 years; after I filed for divorce her approach to children was enforced-- 2 weekends per months (4 nights) or even less, when she plans something for them. We agreed that school holidays are 50/50. The apartment has been always managed and rented out by my parents, who have used the rental income for themselves; it was inherited by me from granny
on pensions.. there is no question, that she will demand a part of my pension; If split is justified I am likely to be fine about it..
I am paying £370 pcm for family house, £970 pcm for my house, I was paying £400 per month child support, but from this month going to pay £450, it is private arrangement, and soon I may end with even more to pay , she applied to CSA and they are going to come with a new figure for me soon; and force me to pay from my salary directly and may even charge me (not her) 20% for this .. I do not know how is that possible and why
my question was what will be different for me (better or worse) if I go first with the decree absolute, before financial settlement is in place ?? or even forget about settlement for couple of years
what is your reason to say that 40/60 is likely to be considered fare by the court? and what is it exactly that shifts the really fare 50/50 balance ? [is it just a traditional discrimination of males by English courts? .. this was just a side comment]
thanks for that... I am thinking if I could ask you to help me with this matter further and to act on my behalf .. I am based in Bath, .. u learned a lot about finances in my case.. if distance and other factors are ok