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UKfamsol
UKfamsol, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 560
Experience:  Very experienced specialist family law solicitor, qualifed in 1994
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My brother died 12 years ago. Around 4 years ago an old girl

Resolved Question:

My brother died 12 years ago. Around 4 years ago an old girl friend of his started to say that her son was my brothers (he is around 13 years old). She has always put flowers on his grave. How can we prove or disprove? She has told my sister that they don't want to have anything to do with us as a family but it's making my mom ill wondering if she has a grandson
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  UKfamsol replied 2 years ago.
Hello and thanks for your question.

The only way to prove or disprove whether or not this boy is your brother's son would be by DNA testing. This is common in paternity disputes - although I have never heard of it taking place after the death of the alleged father.

You (or the boy's mother) would need to contact one of the labs approved by the Ministry of Justice - here's the link for a list of accredited labs:-

https://www.justice.gov.uk/courts/paternity-testing/paternity-test

A nurse collector will come and take a sample from the boy (non-invasive - it's just a cotton bud saliva swab) - and then you or your mother would need to give the nurse collector from the lab something with your borther's DNA on it. Why not ring one or two of the labs for ideas as to what might be appropriate - I'm think somethng like a hairbrush with soem of his hairs on it, or any item that he might have used a lot eg a mobile phone etc I appreciate this is going to be difficult as so much time has passed.

But if there is no item of his left that may have his DNA on it, the only other thing I can suggest is to ask the boy's mother for s detailed account of why she thinks your brother is the father. Does she have photos of them together with dates? Did either of them keep a diary of their time together? etc

I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks and best wishes...
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your reply - I thought as much, but how can we stop her from saying this? Can we make her get a DNA test and if she won't is there anything legally we can do? No problem with brothers DNA - We all had a snippet of his hair from the funeral director which I have kept safe - must have been a premonition that I would need it! Many thanks Angie
Expert:  UKfamsol replied 2 years ago.
Hello again - no I don't think there's anything you can do to stop her saying this. It would be very difficult to get tthe police to take this seriously as harassment - even if the DNA test proves that your brother is NOT the father. And no I don't think you can force her to agree that the boy should give a DNA sample. But maybe if you approach her in an amicable way, she would agree. You could consider contacting a family mediator and maybe setting up a round-the-table discussion with her and the mediator to discuss this whole issue. Here's where to find a local family mediation service:

http://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/find-local-mediator/

I hope this helps! Thanks for an interesting question!

I would be grateful if you now would kindly accept and rate my answer.

thanks and best wishes....
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