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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34581
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hi I have a nine year old son who lives with his mother. I

Resolved Question:

Hi I have a nine year old son who lives with his mother. I have him for three night every other weekend and once during the week. Over the last year he has repeatedly asked if he can come and live with myself and my partner, now every time I see him he asks if he can come live with me. Only this morning as I was dropping him off at school he asked if we could phone his mum and tell her that he is going to live with me. What should I do, ultimately I would love this to happen.
Many thanks
Darren
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Why does he wish to make this move?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
He says that his mum doesn't put him first and that she loves Peter (her new partner) more than him. He is happier at mine as he has friends to play with. My ex lives in a flat where as I live in a house in a cul de sac where there are boys of his age he plays with. His half sister who is 18 has some anger issues and from what he says causing arguments at home (not with him but with her mum). I just get the feeling from him that he's more loved in my home than the one he's in.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
how long do you have him for in the holidays?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hello the last summer holiday I had him for virtually five weeks out of the six. And the last half term in October we had half and half.
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Ay nine your son is still a little young for his wishes to be decisive on the issue of where he lives as he is only just reaching the age where he will be understand the full consequences of decisions.
Having said that having friends to play with and finding the issues with his sister upsetting are reasonable points (the other two are not - do not refer to them to your ex or the court)
Your starting point is to try and discuss matters with your ex to consider increasing the time he spends with you - at this stage ask for maybe two weekends out of three and an extra night in the week rather than an immediate reversing of the current arrangements
You should do this using Family mediation and a mediator trained to work with young people
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Could you just clarify the two points that I should not mention to my ex or court. Many thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
He says that his mum doesn't put him first and that she loves Peter (her new partner) more than himI
just get the feeling from him that he's more loved in my home than the one he's in.
These are both examples of his immaturity
Clare
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