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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34105
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My two children stay with their father on fridays, he then

Resolved Question:

My two children stay with their father on fridays, he then returns them at 9pm, this weekend he did not return them until monday morning and i had no way of contacting them, when they returned they were very upset. I need reashurence this will not happen again, until i have spoken to a solicitor can i stop him seeing them?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children?
Do you know where your ex lives?
Which day is he meant to return them?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Clare,

My two children are 8yr and 6yr, my ex lives 2mins around the corner, he has got very bitter and twisted towards me after a 5year split. He tries to hurt me through the kids and taking them away from me for two days without letting them contact me, was both distressing for me and the kids.

The agreement we had was Friday pick up 3pm return at 9pm. He then has them on Sunday 5pm and return at 8.15am.

I feel that 9pm return is to late and his Monday morning return has been getting later to the point my children are late for school and rushed, this then makes me late for work.

If i go to the expense of getting this in writing how would it be reinforced if he docent stick to it?

Caroline.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
May I ask why you have not moved to alternate full weekends?
is there any reason why he could not take the children to school on a Monday
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
This is a great question Clare, I have always worked around his demands for an easy life as he can get very nasty with me, he works weekends and goes partying fridayand Saturday night, school is oposite were he lives but he refuses to do the morning school run. I would love him to have the kids over a weekend.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Do you ever have a full weekend with your children (and do you want to?)
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare, I have only had the odd weekend with kids when he can't do it, to have a whole weekend with the kids would be great, as I always arange everything around his times, I just don't see how I can get him to agree to anything that doesn't suite him, he makes it difficult for me to go out, and is constantly sending me txt messages, putting me down, I have put up with this and bottled it for so long, as the kids seeing there Dad is important, but my life revolves around his demands, I just don't see how I can get him to agree to anything else.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare, please don't let me think that I always have to obey his wishes, if I try changing anything he comes back with, iam stopping him seeing his kids.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
No you do not have to do what he wishes.
Contact is the right of the children and not the parent and any arrangements have to be right for the children - and for both parents.
You do not have to work around his convenience for contact - alternate full weekends plus one evening/night in the week is a realistic pattern.
If he does not wish to have that then he will have to settle for the alternate Fridays and Sundays so that you have a full weekend with the children - even if only one weekend in three. - and he will have to adapt to taking the children to school on the Monday morning - his responsibility - not yours
The starting point is to try and discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
and agreeing a Parenting Plan.
If that fails then you can apply to the court for a Child Arrangement Order - details here
http://hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/cb001-eng.pdf
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
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