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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34493
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My daughter is now 16 years and presently living with her aunt

Resolved Question:

My daughter is now 16 years and presently living with her aunt (my sister) for about six months. I needed to work being divorced and other responsibility etc..over the years.
I am now being denied free access to my daughter as she is afraid to come to me from her aunt who has gained controll by spoiling her .
Can I apply to the courts for my daughter to come freely to me when she wants without being stopped by her auntwho has no children of her own as never married.
I thought my daughter will grow out of her aunts controll but instead worsened and is emotionally torn as she now being kept away from rest of the family and friends also.
Can my parental responsibility legislation free my daughter from her aunt?
Please help me as it has taken a toll on my well being.
Roxanna
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What makes you think that your daughter is afraid of her Aunt?
Is she going to school or college?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you for your reply.

She is not going to school or any other course and is kept indoors unless the aunt goes out with her and only if it can't be avoided.

Orders on the internet and gets home delivery.

My daughter is very much afraid of her aunt as she only answers others or family members if allowed .She looks to her aunt every time for approval and is not allowed out with anyone else or sight.I hope my daughter doesn't do anything silly by being kept a prisoner like running away or even harm herself.To make things worse for me we have different doctors.

I am worried sick yet can't get help from others as it is so difficult to reason with someone so possessive and needs help.

Thank you

Roxanna

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
What month and year was the child born in?
Clare
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My daughter Zara Ariana was born on 28th of October 1998.

She was born by caesarean section and i needed more help than normal.Her father was not there to help as he was not interested and spent his time gambling drinking and with other women. So I relied on my late mother and sisters and basically lived together between our three homes.

Over the years I had heavy responsibility outside the home especially earning money for us all .I was kept at a distant and only recently another sister has spoken up that it was because the aunt in question was lying about me and turning the family against me.

Now the whole family is torn apart and my daughter is suffering the most. I can see that and other family members but seem to be able to do little if Zara is unable to have the courage to speak freely how she feels honestly without the presence of the aunt.

Thank you again

Roxanna

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My daughter Zara Ariana was born on 28th of October 1998.

She was born by caesarean section and i needed more help than normal.Her father was not there to help as he was not interested and spent his time gambling drinking and with other women. So I relied on my late mother and sisters and basically lived together between our three homes.

Over the years I had heavy responsibility outside the home especially earning money for us all .I was kept at a distant and only recently another sister has spoken up that it was because the aunt in question was lying about me and turning the family against me.

Now the whole family is torn apart and my daughter is suffering the most. I can see that and other family members but seem to be able to do little if Zara is unable to have the courage to speak freely how she feels honestly without the presence of the aunt.

Thank you again

Roxanna

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi
Why is she not still in education?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My daughter is prevented doing anything for herself or going out .I am not sure however if she would know her way around as has been kept at home most of her life.

She has fallen behind and would lack the knowledge to go to classes of her own age.Her mental ability for everyday life is of a much younger child being kept dependent on the aunt against my wishes for the years.She has not grown out of it.

I would like her to go for education or do course like horticulture giving her freedom and exercise and meet others.But as she only does what her aunt says I don't know how this can be possible.As a mother do I not have any right for my daughters future so she can stand on her own feet ?

I am so desperate . What about psychotherapy or doctor that can be allowed to intervene via an order or an organisation of authority.

Please help me

Thank you kindly

Yours sincerely

Roxanna

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
has she ever been to school?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hello

Yes my daughter has been to school but left when she was about 7 years to do be "home educated" .I agreed to this reluctantly as my late mother wanted that and other family members too.Her father was not around to say otherwise either and was hot headed enough to act rashly.

I am very easy going nature and always kept others happy especially as I was working and wasn't wise to human nature. I missed out and realise my mistakes but I am Zaras mum and l I love her more than living itself God being my Witness.

Thank you

Roxanna

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Have social services ever been involved?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hello

I rang social services but was told that if my daughter is not in physical danger or harm and as she was 16 this October they may not want to be involved.I understand they have other cases and also I was hoping not to put my daughter under more stress if possible.

I am trying for other ways

Thank you

Roxanna

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Who else lives in the property she lives in?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hello

No one else lives in the property officially.

However we have a mentally affected elder brother who has been forcefully taken there to live whilst me and others including my late mother were abroad.This brother has been in our care and is registered living with us where we are.Two other sisters live with me also and so this home has a livier atmosphere for him mentally and not secluded where he has been taken .He is registered mentally disabled and gets an allowance given to this sister in question being the appointee.I am now also worried for his well being as he may not get proper food and some daily exercise and is approaching 68 years of age.He is not registered with a doctor there either.

But please help me first to get someone to free Zara from the stonghold her aunt has over her.My daughter is afraid to talk to anyone .

Thank you again and now feel i am taking so much of our time so please excuse me.

Roxanna

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
How do you know that she wishes to escape?
Has anyone had contact with her at all?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hello Claire

I know that she wants to come away but doesnt as she wants to please the aunt.

Never a good word for me especially and now other family members has been said to my daughter over the years when I was at work or busy by this sister .I know this as my daughter often confronted me about lies told to her by the aunt.Also if this aunt gave her a bad look or scolded her my daughter would not get over it until the aunt said it was OK.I often wonder if my daughter has been so badly brainwashed that all others are monsters.

How do I get help for her if she doesn't come with me to see someone as her aunt will not OK it.

You can tell when a child has been affected so badly that they only do what someone controlling them says.

I was hoping she would grow out of it but now as a young adult my daughter needs to know about life outside this cocoon.

Thank you

Roxanna

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
When did you last see her?
Has anyone else seen her?
Has she seen a doctor?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hello Clare

I last saw her about a month ago when I went there to see my daughter and take her out.Relunctantly was allowed into the house but my daughter didn't come out with me even though I ask so gently and reassure both each time.

No one else has seen her nor has a doctor seen her recently to the best of my knowledge .I cannot get an answer from either of them when I ask and am brushed aside even if i phone.Instead message is passed to me via my daughters cousin ( my niece) who lives with her mother ( another sister of mine)that all is fine

If I ask any more they both cold shoulder me and I get so tired having worked so hard and feeling so bad at this age.

I don't know what to do except hope and pray .

Thank you for giving me your time and patience.

Roxaansa

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Has anyone checked on your brother's care - I understand that he is in the same property?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hello Clare

I did go to see his doctor who Is also my doctor and briefly mentioned about him whilst I was talking about my concern for my daughter and my own health suffering .The doctor told me that my brother should be able to decide himself. I couldn't understand as HE IS NOT able to decide himself due to his mental incapacity and only does what he is told as he is weak and afraid.

I will be seeing the doctor next week and ask him again about my brother and hope the doctor can help regarding my brother.He can't help me with my daughter as he is not her doctor and this adding to my inability to help my situation.

I didn't think that allowing my daughter to register where her aunt lives would now exclude me.I didn't anticipate all this.

No one has seen my brother regarding his care to my knowledge except another relative who may have visited and said he was OK.?

Thank you

Roxanna

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Have you asked Social Services to visit your brother who is a vulnerable adult?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hello Claire

I haven't asked social services as I didn't know about this and vulnerable adults.Do you think I should contact them and would they be able to help as my sister who behind all this heartache is also his apppointee?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hello Claire

I haven't asked social services as I didn't know about this and vulnerable adults.Do you think I should contact them and would they be able to help as my sister who behind all this heartache is also his apppointee?

I didn't want more stress for all especially both my daughter and brother.If I have no choice I will have to go this route.

Thank you.Should I just call them .

Roxanna

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
The problem you face is that your daughter is 16 and entitled to decide for herself what she wishes to do and where she wishes to live
I am surprised that she is not still in education and training as at her age it is still compulsory - so this is an area where you should ask for further information
Unless your daughter is willing to speak out and say she wishes to see you then there is nothing that can be done - unless your sister is willing to attend Family mediation to discuss matters
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
However as a Vulnerable adult your brother's welfare is the concern of Social Services and if you are worried about his care you can ask them to do a visit - and they can then assess what is happening in the property
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
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