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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34105
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My partner of 18 years walked out on me and my seven year old

Resolved Question:

My partner of 18 years walked out on me and my seven year old twins he said he had been having an affair since xmas2013 their had been no indication that he was unhappy he just announced his feelings for this woman were stronger then his feelings for me and the. Children so he moved into his parents a and was seeing the children 2 evenings and an over night stay at the weekend he has now moved into her house with her and her seven year old. I am unhappy about my children my children. meeting her and l think it is far to soon for them to stay in her house as they are still confused and insecure my x partner has declared it is going to happen and he has said their is nothing l can do about it and has threatened me that he will stop his financial support for the children is their anthing I can do to delay this."'-/jkk
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How long is it since the separation?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

we left in September of this year after he announced he had been having an affair since xmas 2013 have said to him it is too soon for the children to meet her and to stay overnight in her house while he sleeps with her the are confused and insecure as it is as he also tells them that he still loves me and in their little minds they think it will all be alright and daddy will come home she also has a young son and they cant understand why he has taken their daddy from them they are showing signs in their behavior my daughter has taken to sleep walking and my son is often withdrawn and very quite my x partner denies any of this is down to him and he threatens me using financial support as his weapon he has told me that all he is obliged by law to pay is 260 pounds a month for both children and this will happen as he needs money to start up with his new family he currently pays 450 pounds to help pay back loans that we took out together but because he is unable to get credit in his own name due to previous county court judgments i feel that i have no rights at all legally and i am being punished when all i did was love him can you help in any way do i have any rights.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Please confirm that you are not married.
How much does he earn and how much are the outstanding loans - and what was the money used for
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Iam not marred. My ex partner earns £22,000 year.

The loan is for a car £145 per month repay This will end in August 2015.

Yours Louise

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Who has the car now?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I have the car now

Louise

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
May I just check - what about your home - who owns that?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

The house is in my name, I pay the mortgage he payed half, 10 years left to finish. House insurance is £55 per month.

The car is in my name. I Will now list Items Payed out per week.

All items are as a guide only and in pounds.

Food=55

Insurance= 55

Council tax=27

Water=35

After school club=76.50

Petrol=136

Mortgage=290

car loan=165

credit cards=180

Provident loan= 89

Gas+Electric=160

Sky TV=60

Garage ( separated from house)=70

At time of writing all correct!

Louise

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
There are two issues here - Contact and finances.
So far as the Contact is concerned - when are you suggesting that the children should meet his new partner?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

It is'nt me that wants the children to meet his new partner it is him, i don't want this to happen at all. He currently pays some bills each month which add up to £456. that is all he pays, the rest i have to find out of my wages and some tax credits I receive. I have asked him not to introduce this woman to the children, as i do not consider her to be a good role model and influence in the children's life, i feel this will complicate things further for the children and they are already affected badly by this situation.

thanku Louise

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am very sorry but it is inevitable that his new partner will meet the children - all that you can do is to try and control when that happens.
You are right it is still too early for them to cope with seeing him in a new home with a new partner - so agreeing to them meeting her on an outing and building up from there is a sensible way forward
You should offer to discuss this with him using family mediation
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
With regard to the finances the only thing you are entitled to is the £260 a month I am afraid
I am sorry - I am aware that none of this is what you wish to hear - but I have to be realistic about your legal position
You may find this website useful
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
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