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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34232
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I am a father of a little 5 year old lovely little boy. Unfortunately

Resolved Question:

I am a father of a little 5 year old lovely little boy. Unfortunately things are going bad with my sons mam I've had to apply to family court to hope help me see my boy when ive asked for fingers crossed this will be sorted in court. But at the moment I'm just making do with the contact im getting at the moment., but the question is my ex has started a new or different job working different hours last week and she informed me that my son was going into a after school club the days his mam has im which that's not a problem it's my sons quality time with his mam she's missing out on. But when I've asked who was picking my son up after the club and possibly bathing him etc she hasn't told me as it may be her new partner and not a member of my sons family I'm I ok to object to a non family member bathing etc to his mother as there's been a issue earlier this year with my ex partners new boyfriend showering with my son while his mam said she was also in bathroom at the same time but I found this out from my son and I found it to be total improper behaviour from my ex and her new partner which I made clear to my sons mother so what can I do please help thank you
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How long have you rex and her new partner been together?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hello Clare I'm not to sure how long my ex and her partner have been together I think my son may have mentioned her partner earlier this year I think it may have been around March/April but definitely mid May when I actually new of her partner, and as I mentioned the shower incident happened roughly around then
Thanks Steven
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
So in fact they have been together for at least seven months?
Do they love together?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare Do they what together. do you mean live together if so no not that I'm aware of
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
That was what I meant so thank you.
Would you be able to care for the child after school instead?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare I do care for my child the days I've contact with my son but my ex is trying to give me at least contact as she can by not allowing all the dates of contact I ask for , as I work 2 12 hour day shifts 6am to 6pm then 2 night shifts 6pm to 6 am each week so basically I've 3 nights possibly for my contact which I normal ask for 2/3 nights contact and my son says he wants to stop more nights or even forever bless him so he does want to see me as much as I want to see him, as my ex has changed her job and hours of work I asked her by email about the after school arrangements but as yet no answer, as I think I've a right to know what's happening as I am his dad and named on this birth certificate . The previous arrangement was my ex or me picking my son up at school at 3.15. But like I've said my ex has placed him into a after school club til around 4.15 I was informed the days she's working to 6 pm I think I've got some sort of rights to object to who or where my sons is looked after especially non family
Steven
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Are YOU able to care for him on those days when she works until 6pm?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare well I think I can care for my son on days my ex finishes at 6pm but she's unpreapared to even ask me she would say that me( his dad ) was getting my own way with my son, which I think is unfair but as I said I work 6 to 6 four days a week.,and if I've got him from school it would save her money which I also contribute to his upkeep but she hasn't told me who his caring for him after school and up to my ex finishing work. She had told me that her new job was nothing to do with me which is true as her life is nothing to do with me it's was just my sons care I'm worried about
Steven
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
HI
Is there any reason to think that the arrangements your ex has made are not adequate?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare we like I said I thought before my exes change of job working hours etc it was up to me or his mam or his nanna to care for, bathe and feed my son which I accepted. But as I said my ex may be wanting her new partner to take over from my sons nanna or even his mam I say that as she won't tell me the new after school arrangements and I'm guessing this as she's not telling me about the new arrangements. And has I and. My family find the shower incident some improper behaviour involving my son ,and total against anything like that happening again for the sake of all parties involved with my son . As for my ex and partner they seemed to think it was normal or acceptable. So that's why I'm wanting to object to my exs new partner taking care bathing etc if that's what my ex is arranging to do wether I approve or disapprove
Steven
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am afraid that there is no legal basis on which you can object to her partner helping with the care of the child.
You are certainly entitled to be told what after school arrangements have been made for your son - and to offer to assist on a regular basis if you are able to make that commitment
Obviously if you have specific concerns about her new partner then obviously that is a different issue - however if not hen the starting point is to try and discuss these issues using Family Mediation
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
If that i snot successful you may need to apply for a Child Arrangement Order or a Prohibited Steps Order.
You can read more here
http://hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/cb007-eng.pdf
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare. I have tried going through mediation a couple months ago but my ex wouldn't take part in this unless I paid for her sessions which as she is nothing to do with me.was unfair to ask for me to pay her part of the cost. I've made a application to court which I'll be going on 6/01/15
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Excellent then you can raise the issues then
Clare
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