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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34105
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Scenario is: Im 29 year old male was in a relationship for

Resolved Question:

Scenario is: Im 29 year old male was in a relationship for 3 and half years which ended approx 3 months ago. She has a 12 year old son from previous relationship, Had a daughter together who is almost 2 in feb. Spet 2013 i purchased a house in my own name with family help on my side of the family financially. Girlfriend and the kids moved in 1 month later in september and the relationship ended 1 year on. She left to go to her mothers with the kids and has made no attempt at reconciling the relationship apart from on 2 occasions where she has seeked attention and played mind games. Today she has informed me that she has no rights with the local council to be housed and has asked for help financially with a deposit for a private accommodation of which i cannot afford and concerned that even if i did somehow that she would leave me liable to pay further rent costs there on. She approx 2 months ago before the break up she had met somebody else and has since moved on with this person whilst staying at her mothers. I would like to know from this where does she stand with any rights where my property is concerned and further more importantly my daughter. Then i would like to know my options on how to pursue. I would now like to have no further contact regards ***** ***** but my daughter. currently there is a mutual arrangement to have our daughter on a wednesday evening over night and of a sunday day time of which was dictated by herself. Thank you. Dan
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
Why is your ex not eligible for council accommodation?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I'm not sure at this moment as she hasn't said why. Could it be that she has only lived in the borough for not even a year?
The house is worth £275k when purchase and I guess a recent valuation could put it at circa £320k. She is not on any papers at all. My grandfather has a charge of £100k and the mortgage co have an interest of the balance of which I owe.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
How much has she asked for as a deposit?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
No particular amount, has only stated a months deposit, rents and fees in a text message.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Sorry - do you wish to change the Contact arrangements at all?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Would like for things to stay civil regard to contact. At this moment in time not looking to change dates of seeing daughter as would like to keep regular with routine. Although it seems as tho she is persueing a target of achieving whatever she can financially given my family background and the way she has suggested things in conversation.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Your ex has no financial claim on the equity in the property at all
HOWEVER you are under a duty to help her house your child until the child is 18.
Had your ex not already moved out of the property then you could have been facing a position where you would have to leave and she could remain there until your child is 18 - so if you have not already done so you must change the locks - just in case.
With that in mind a request for the deposit so that she can rent a suitable property is not unreasonable and would not render you liable for the rent unless you were foolish enough to sign as a Guarantor.
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I cannot afford any form of deposit so it's not an option.
In order that my daughter is housed correctly I would prefer that she lives with myself and perhaps with the added care of my sister during my working hours which my sister is always available for. This is the only thing I can think of. Do you have any other suggestions.
Her mothers place is a 1 bedroom flat and conditions arnt fair on our child. Her mother, Childs mother and 2 children all live in the 1 bed flat with child's mothers brother also staying over regularly. Currently I pay a mutually agreed amount of money to the ex for our daughters maintenance being £70 per week by bank transfer. Also wondering what to do where this is concerned.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
How much is your gross income?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Circa £38k per year before tax etc
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You are slightly underpaying the maintenance so do not cancel is as an application to the CMS would not be in your interest.
I am afraid that if your ex did make a Children Act application there is a possibility of you being ordered to pay a lump sum of up to £2000, but if she does not apply then all will be well
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Are there particular grounds for making that application?
Currently at this moment in time I have collected my daughter and normally drop her back by 6pm on a Sunday. The ex and her mother are both stating adamantly that they will not be back today and that I am to have my daughter over night. This was not arranged at all. They are starting to play hard with me and showing there true colours. It cannot go on. I am considering perhaps full custody? With my sister as carer as I mentioned earlier.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am not entirely sure what you are asking?
Do you not wish to have the child an extra night?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I would always have my daughter extra over and above the times that have been agreed providing extra times are arranged and agreed with mutually. However today after I collected my daughter this morning the have sprung it upon me that I should have her over night tonight as they are out for the day and night. It's unnaceptable given that it hasn't been discussed and arranged properly. I have stood my ground and kept to the arrangements as I do not want to be walked over.
The ex is relying heavily on her mum to babysit on regular occasions it seems with both children and she seems so much more concerned about herself than the kids. Possibly where the new man is concerned. With this I am concerned about the living conditions of it being the 1 bed flat and our daughter has been continuously I'll for the last 3 months.
If the above continues and I am responsible for housing my child anyway then I am considering perhaps a full custody option with my sister providing the care whilst I am at work. Could this be an option given the above and the fact she walked away from a family home to progress with another man or would I need more grounds?
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
There is no longer any question of custody - it is simply a matter of how the child spends her time between you.
Since the mother has been the main carer until now then it will not be easy to change this - the fact that she left you is irrelevant - although her housing situation is of assistance
If you wish to increase your time with the child then you need to accept any time that is offered - no matter if it has not been arranged in advance
The more time she spends with you the more likely it is that eventually you will become the main carer.
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

What if the ex can be clinically proven depressed and the ex's mother ?

I need to know ideally what types of things can also go against them as well as their current housing condition. if in the near future i decide to go for being main carer of my daughter should matters begin to get out of hand and the ex and her mother become more un reasonable which they seem to be perfectly capable of doing given their overall family track record. Im looking out for my daughters best interests and would prefer not to have her growing up in the environment that she is currently in and further more the future.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
The issue is the needs of the child - mainly security and stability.
The best way to approach this is to increase the time the child spends with you as much as possible and to accept any extra nights however inconvenient
Start by seeking a shared care order with your daughter spending Friday night to monday morning with you on alternate weekends plus one night in the week - two if she will agree.
That will be a good basis from which to work to the child spending more of her time with you than with mum
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare, just to finish this off and have a better sense of security in the future. Say if I were still with my x and she were named on the mortgage with myself and my grandparents holding the £100k interest that they have in the property. Then what would the situation have been with regards ***** ***** she is entitled to if I refuse to leave the house and if I left. Greatest detail would be greatly appreciated.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
If she were a joint owner of the property her position would be stronger.
She could either seek an Order allowing her to remain in the property without you until the child is 18 - at which point the equity would be shared equally between you: or she could force an immediate sale of the property and receive at least half of the equity.
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Wow, but how about where my grandparents have £100k in the property which is solicited. Could my grandparents force the sale of the property and the equity split between us there on?
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
IF the property was owned by you both then whether or not your grandparents could force a sale would depend on the terms of the agreement regarding the loan
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Terms from the mortgage lender I asume?
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
No the terms of the agreement with your grandparents
Clare
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