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Kasare
Kasare, Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 204
Experience:  Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
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My daughter is...

Customer Question

My daughter is divorced and looks after her 15 year old daughter all her life. Her husband was a violent man who mentally abused her and always left the mother to look after the child. He was a ex policeman so he used his knowledge to threaten her about all things he could. He has her in an awful state of distress at every opportunity even when there never has been any reason. The girl is now 15 and now he has started working on her mind distorting the truth of how he behaved when she was younger, and she believes him mostly because she is afraid to confront him. My daughter works full time on minimal wage to support them both and only in the past 9months has he agreed to pay about £140 per month maintaince. He has remarried and is working on my daughters mind with threats to take her daughter to live with him and says my daughter will have to pay him the same maintaince. She relies on some benefits to make ends meet and could not manage without these aswell as paying him to look after the child he left to live in Thailand for a few years.He has a substantial pension from the police and his wife is financially secure. His threatening behaviour is having a terrible effect on her health and because he knows this He is continually threatening her about not looking after the girl who is living with her mum in a conform able home with greatly supporting grandparents. Can he take her simply to destroy my daughter life and health. She desperately needs help before it's too late. He has been plying the girl with gifts and has her convinced she would be happier with him. Please please find help for my daughter who is devoted to her child and if in danger of being totally destroyed by this man.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What contact does he have with the child?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Daily
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Daily. Please also confirm that I am not going to be charged any more money than the £31 you have already taken. I do not want a monthly account. Thank you.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Did your daughter not deal with the financial issues at the time of the divorce?
Clare
PS I will ask Customer services to deal with your financial query.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Before the divorce as able to be finalised, he had gone to live in Thailand for about two years where nobody knew where he was. He never contributed a penny for thechildHold until about nine months ago when he agreed to give £160 per month only until she is 16(which is next sept). This is why it is so cruel is tell my daughter now that he will take this amount from her when he takes the child to live with him.she is 15 and has been won over with luxurys that my daughter cannot give so he is sure she will choose to live with him if asked. The financial issue is having a terrible effect on my daughters health mental and physical. He loves threatening and would relish a threat to go to court. We have been told that she would need to pay him but surely this can be avoided. Please please help
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HI
Do you mean that your daughter was never able to conclude a financial settlement at all?
has she remarried at all?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He wouldn't cooperate even with his lawyers until he decided to remarry so he bullied her into agreeing to his offer of £160 otherwise to would fight her in court. He knows she is vulnerable and takes full advantage of it. She had property in her name when they first got together but by the time the marriage was over he had run up massive debts on cards with her name on them and also remortgaged the house which left her with nothing but debts of his. She in the end had to declare herself bankrupt and start again with nothing while taking care of her daughter. He was a policeman who has a great pension but always declared himself unemployed. I don't know how he got away with it but he seems to know exactly how to work the law in his favour even when it is totally untrue. Her lawyer was useless. He is in a very strong financial state now with his pension and his wife's money and my daughter is working full time and only getting a little be benefit from the state for being a one parent family. If she loses this she simply couldn't afford her house rental as she is only on minimal wage. He knows this but has said the child will live with him and my daughter will have to pay him £160 pm plus lose her benefits. He vowed to break her mentally and financially and he seems to be getting away with it.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No, she never got any settlement from him and she has not remarried. She has managed as a single parent
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Was a final financial order actually made - an Order sealed by the court?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Not to my knowledge.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
This is in fact very important - is there any way that you can ask?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have checked. The final was nothing to get, nothing to give.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He only started paying £160 pm this year and it was to hurry to decree nisa through so he could get married otherwise he threatened to make life impossible for her. Does this mean if he takes the girl to live withhim that my daughter would have to pay him even though there was no court ruling.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
When was the Decree Absolute granted ?
Clare

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