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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33283
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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The mother of my 8 year old son and I have split up and I am

Customer Question

The mother of my 8 year old son and I have split up and I am in a new relationship with a woman who is divorcing her husband and has an adult son.
My ex partner will not let me have access or care of my son when my new partner is around despite her being mature and respectable, even at my parents home. I left my ex partner because of her abusive and aggressive ways and because of her constantly being drunk and staying out at pub "lock ins" until 0200 in the morning.
What rights have I got and can I enforce them through a court to ensure my son is properly cared for. On the occasions she refuses me access she passes my son around to facilitate her social life. I am at my wits end.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What objection does your ex have to your current partner
What contact are you actually having?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

My ex partner has a view of the world that circulates around her. She is headstrong and in her mind she is always right.

My new partner was nothing to do with the break up of our relationship. It was my ex's behaviour and her drinking.

My ex is some years younger than me, and my partner is 5 years older than I am and has an 18 year old son. She is wise and mature. My ex resents that and is determined to do all she can to cause me problems, believing in her own mind that she has done nothing wrong as she wishes to live her life as if she was a teenager. Not something one can do with the responsibility of an 8 year old son.

I have little spare money, though I own my house on a mortgage. My parents have set my ex up in a rented house which she is happy with. I have allowed her to take all my furniture, electrical kit and soft furnishings to allow her just to go. However she will resist me seeing my son if my Partner is present, even at my parents' home. I cannot burden my parents further.

My ex has "palmed" my son off to unsuitable people and even had him sitting in the staff room at her works, a branch of "Iceland", which I think is illegal, for hours on end. She left him all night with people who thought they would only have him for a couple of hours whilst she has gone drinking. She prevented my own parents from seeing my son for 6 years or seeing his three cousins as she did not want him to be "brought up" like them. My father is a retired very senior police officer and my mother is a retired child special needs carer and are good people. Frankly they have had enough of this woman's bad behaviour.

My ex acts as if she is crazy and defames me as often as she can, she is verbose and aggressive. Her desire to prevent my new partner being part of my son's life is based purely upon spite. Her mothering skills are very poor and I want to obtain some sort of Contact Order to ensure my son's well-being. I am not bothered by things like the CSA, I am more than happy to support my son but he needs the support and love of his extended family, not being shut up in a staff room for hours when he could be out developing as a child.

The objection my ex has to my partner is simply - she is my partner.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Have you received the reply I sent an hour ago?

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for that
The law says that a child is entitled to contact with both parents and the courts will enforce this if necessary.
Since your relationship with your new partner is well established there is no reason why she should not meet your child although obviously you will hav eto build their relationship gradually.
The starting point is to try and discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
When that fails you will need to make a formal applictaion to the court for a Child Arrangement Order setting out the time that the child will spend with you which can then be enforced if necessary
More details here
http://hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/cb007-eng.pdf
Please ask if you need further information
Clare

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