How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33313
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
13262538
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
Clare is online now

Me and my ex broke up 11th November this year, things are still

Customer Question

Me and my ex broke up 11th November this year, things are still very raw, and we argue constantly.
This Boxing Day, we had agreed that I would have our 17 month old Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and my ex would have him at 3:00 on Boxing Day.
It came to 2:30 and my ex said he thought it was unfair to collect our son and refused, but was going to 'take me to court' after a lot of arguing again.
I already received a letter from his solicitor 10th December, it basically said
My client would like to see your son either 1 day every weekend, and an evening in the week, or he will accept your preferred, of a whole weekend every fortnight and 4 out of the 8 holidays a year.
And he wants alternative Christmases, birthdays and New Years.
Nobody has asked me what I would like, but I would prefer the agreement is this...
A full weekend every fortnight and no evening every week, (we have already agreed together, this evening is pointless...although my ex will probably push for this).
As for holidays, being our sons sole career, I feel like his holiday demands are a bit too 50/50. Call me bitter, but I feel like, as i have devoted my whole life to our son for so far, 13 out of a 14 day period. (We haven't managed a full weekend since the breakup) I should be entitled to more 'fun days'.
I would like, until my son can tell me otherwise, that i have him every Christmas Eve and Christmas and my ex has him Boxing Day and an extra day, if he so wishes. (Which he will).
And I am prepared to accept 5 out of the 8 holidays and as for birthdays, we could split that day up, so we both get to see him.
How likely is it that I will get this kind of agreement?
And I have never been in a legal sittuation before
When my ex say's "see you in court"
How exactly does he get it to court?, isn't there a process to get through first to try and avoid court?
He can't just take me to court for an official agreement can he?
If we are ordered to go to mediation, and it is successful, will court be called off?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Why do you think that an evening would be pointless?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
It was arranged that my ex would come one day after work (6:00pm) and put our son to bed at half 7.
However, it has never happened since we have been broke up, and to be honest, we are all fine without it.
He asked to come round for an hour once and I reminded him, he was supposed to be putting him to bed, not visiting (my ex has never done our sons actual cares, unless he has to because I'm not there, he'd rather just play with him)
It became obvious my ex just wanted to visit for an hour or so, so he could just see him
So we called it off
He hasn't asked to come round in the week since
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
is there any reason why he should not take the child out for an hour or so one evening a week?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No there is no particular reason. I just feel it is an unnecessary stress added to my week, my ex never put him to bed when we were actually together
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
For clarity - did he collect the child on Boxing Day in the end?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No he didn't, my mum even offered to drop my son off, because i can 't drive. But he insisted it was unfair on our son to be driven around at that time.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
The law says that a child is entitled to contact with both parents and the courts will enforce this if necessary.
It is however the needs of the child and not the parents that dictate what the contact should be.
The fact that your ex refused to collect the child for the prearranged contact is bizarre since many children do indeed travel between their parents on boxing day - and indeed on Christmas day itself
It seems that you have agreed most of the contact arrangements - the alternate weekends and the only issue remains the holidays.
Your suggestion is not unreasonable - although you do need to be aware that the Court can be unpredictable when it comes to how Christmas is dealt with.
There can be bo Court proceedings until Mediation has been attempted
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
and there is no reason not to stick to your current proposal.
Given what happened on Boxing Day it remains to be seen if your ex is actually interested in seeing the child at all.
Please ask if you need further details
Clare

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great! Maggie
< Previous | Next >
  • Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great! Maggie
  • A quick response, a succinct and helpful answer in simple English. I believe I can now confront the counter party with confidence -- worth the 30 bucks! Rick
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Kasare

    Kasare

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    204
    Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kasare/kasare.64x64.jpg Kasare's Avatar

    Kasare

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    204
    Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/TG/TGraham12/2012-7-17_81212_bigstockBusinessHandshake508163.64x64.jpg Thomas's Avatar

    Thomas

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    133
    UK solicitor
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/JO/jojobi/2013-3-19_0265_maxlowryphoto.64x64.jpg Max Lowry's Avatar

    Max Lowry

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    7
    LLB, 10 years post qualification experience
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/OS/osh/2015-7-7_19268_gettyimagesb.64x64.jpg Joshua's Avatar

    Joshua

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    340
    LL.B (Hons), Higher Prof. Dip. Law & Practice
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/GL/Glossolicitor/2013-5-14_214834_TWMParkinsonWright.64x64.jpg Glos solicitor's Avatar

    Glos solicitor

    Family Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    2
    10 years experience in all areas of family law, now specialising in cases involving social services and children
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/UK/UKfamsol/My face July 2011.64x64.jpg UKfamsol's Avatar

    UKfamsol

    Family Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    240
    Very experienced specialist family law solicitor, qualifed in 1994
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CH/chathamchamber/2011-4-24_191833_1.64x64.jpg chatham-chamber's Avatar

    chatham-chamber

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    182
    LL.B, Pg.Dip, LL.M, M.B.A (Pending), Solicitor-Advocate. UK Practising Certificate issued by SRA., DIFC Courts Registered (Dubai)