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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34105
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Where do I stand Daughter is 9 years old 10 in March, her

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Where do I stand
Daughter is 9 years old 10 in March, her biological father left me just before she was 1 and had her the odd weekend until the novelty wore off he never had her then until she was 7! My now husband ( of 7 years) is all Rubee (my daughter) had known as a father up till Craig (biological father) came back into her life.
My husband is in the Army so we move every few years up till now it's not been a problem as my family live in his home town (cleethorpes) so iv done him more than enough favours by taking her to him from our previous home in Peterborough but since we have moved to London he won't come to our house for her he expects me to meet him at kings cross station or meet him half way in the car, bearing in mind I have two other girls aged 7&4 my husband is away a lot of the time and I am not willing to traipse them all over to fulfill his needs I don't appreciate his tone either, he's doesn't come back into our daughters life and thinks he can throw the shots. The sad thing is Rubee doesn't even mention him that much she only because she likes going to see her cousins and grandma! It's so hard he's threatening to take me to court, his mum who I get along with and doesn't agree with his attitude said its empty threats and he won't but I do believe he will! I was just after some professional advice?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What contact has he actually asked for
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
He was having her every four weeks collecting get on the Saturday morning bringing her back on the Sunday afternoon. Since we moved here to woolwich in August he hasn't had her! He said either he wants her every holiday or will go back to every 4 weeks if I do it his way! Every holiday is not going to happen she's very sensitive as it is and has never been away from me more than 2 nights.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Does he actually mean for ALL the holiday?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes he does
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Then please do not worry - there is no question of this happening.
Contact is for the benefit of the child - and your daughter will wish to spend a good part of the holiday with her friends and her siblings.
If he wants one weekend in four then that is fair enough although given the distance times when he could keep her until the monday (bank holidays and half terms etc) would be more sensible- and it is not Unreasonable for him to ask you to share the travelling to some extent meeting at Kings Cross for example.
Extra time in the holiday is also possible - especially when you are travelling up there anyway.
You should offer to discuss this with him using Family mediation
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
If that fails and he does apply to the court then you have very little to fear!
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
It's just so difficult being in the middle my husband is adamant that I'm not helping him out anymore. Then at the other end iv given biological father an olive branch by letting him have her for a few days while I'm back home in the half term but he's thrown it back in my face saying it's not long enough, even My daughter has said a couple of days is enough and that's from her mouth! I don't know what to do for the best? Iv told my husband I was contacting someone for advice today (yourself), I really can't be doing with a court order being put in place but I also don't want bio father to think he's got me where he wants me as he's so arrogant, it just infuriates me how he can be out of her life for so many years and cone back and pick when he has her! Sorry if I'm going on it's just so stressful!
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Oh dear - being stuck in the middle is never fun
You would be expected to bear part of the travel arrangements - so meeting at Kings Cross is the best offer to make - and of course offering contact when you a ein the area.
That is however ALL you need to offer - if he does not accept it that is his problem and not yours - you have nothing to fear from the courts.
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your help if I rate to finish and I have forgotten something with regards ***** ***** question can I comment again?
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Yes of course - no problem at all
Clare
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