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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34581
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Hi, My partner and I have split up, we are not married but

Customer Question

Hi, My partner and I have split up, we are not married but have a little boy aged two and half. My partner works abroad and comes home thrice a year at the most. He pays the rent at our flat whilst I pay for child care.
I have asked him to swap these responsibilities so my little one and I can move out, it's a two bed flat his sister occupies the other bedroom, our little one needs space. My partner is being very unreasonable and has stated that I should move and leave our boy with his sister, he said he will not pay anything towards our son as long as he is not "under his roof".. I am worried that he'll just come home pick our son from nursery and lock me out. The lease is in his name.
He hasn't seen or called our boy since 8 December last year and did not come home for Xmas, I tried to contact him Boxing Day and after but only managed to get hold of him after I contacted his work place.
He replied by telling me to go but to leave our son presumably he meant with his sister. I asked him how he could even suggest that and he just continued accusing me of being selfish and all sorts. This all started after I asked him when he was coming home for good as I felt it was time to be a family, he hung up on me during that conversation...if I could afford to pay both childcare and rent I would have been out the door but I can't and he is holding me ransom because of that. I have been our sons main carer since he was born in 2012 my partner was already working abroad at that time
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How much does your partner earn - and what benefits are you entitled to?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

He earns approximately £60000 a year excluding allowances. He works in the MIddle East, I get child tax credits

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
May I ask how much you earn per annum?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I earn 30k, I am really concerned about my son living with me, child support issue could turn out to be a drawn out affair considering he works abroad.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Does he work for a Uk based company and have you looked into your eligibility for Housing Benefit?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

The company he works for is not UK based its a Middle East Company and based on the housing benefit calculator I am entitled to £200 a week which is not enough unfortunately, child care costs alone at the moment are £1028 rent and bills will be approximately £1200

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am afraid that the simple fact is that of you end your relationship then there will be financial consequences and there is no way around this.
You can check what your full benefit position will be here
http://benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/AboutYou?gclid=Cj0KEQiA8rilBRDZu_G8hszXraoBEiQABlB9Y0Arzfk6Iup6VagG-XWO2NFCSYvi0Fp2KHqRTZnL8HQaAtHV8P8HAQ
as you will get more help with child care when you are a single parent.
Your ex will have to pay you 12% of his gross income as Child Maintenance - although if he choses to live as well as work abroad then enforcing this will indeed be a problem
If he does attempt to remove the child from your care you will be able to apply to the court for an Urgent Order allowing you to recover the child from him.
I am sorry - I know that this is not the news you hopes for but please ask if you need further details
Clare
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you for your help Claire, you have at least given me a guideline of what avenues to take, he is being really spiteful, I am thankful that I have at least got it in writing just in case it goes to court, I pray it doesn't and he'll come to his senses. thank you again

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You are most welcome I hope that all goes well
Clare