My son is twelve years old and my daughter is 10 years old. This mistreatment surrounds my son who has ADHD and learning disabilities.
I left my husband nine years ago following mental and physical abuse. My ex-husband lives in Liverpool and we live in Croydon, Surrey. At the time I had no witnesses. The abuse was always undertaken when we were alone and with no bruises. I always believed the abuse was against women and when I look back it was at times when I was vunerable ie pregnant or post pregancy.
My son will now not discuss his situation further and I am going to seek professional counceling to gently coax him to talk . I believe this mis-treatment is now happening as my son is growing up and will verbally defend himself. My son will informs me that it happens on every visit. Last week he asked me if we could move away and not tell his Dad the new address or phone number. Which is why I wish to take legal and formal action.
In the past the children have visited for the main school holiday, easter, summer and Christmas. My ex-husband was unemployed for two years but is now working. He now wishes to have them one weekend a month in addition to the school holidays.
The NSPCC said they had a legal requirement to pursue my case but after a meeting felt that it would distract from Alex which I totally agree.
My ex-husband has not been formally interviewed but from the little Alex has told me the mistreatment he has been subjected to is the same I endured many years ago. Always alone and no bruises. It took my son a lot of courage to open up to me and my priority is to take formal control of the situation to protect him.
At the time I left my husband although I saw a Solicitor his family although offering to offer any support to myself and the children they were not prepared to make an official statement against him. My father was terminally ill at the time and I had no where to go with two young children. I therefore did not pursue the case at the time.
I am absolutely devastated as there was and has been no indiction that he would continue the mistreatment in the future and on his children. My ex-husband never acknowledged or accepted that Alex had problems and I believe that this might also be part of the problem.
Due to Alex's condition he see the world in black and white. There is no grey area. He said " I told Dad his not allowed to hit me or hurt me" And his father's reply was he could do what his want. I have no reason not to believe my son. However, where do I stand if his father denies these allegations?
I was seriously ill last year and what concerns me that if I became ill that with parental rights he would take the children to live with him which would have a devastating impact on their lives.