I also attach now most importantly the actual order from 3rd of february where they are in essence sending us to another dispute resolution on 6th of March.
I need urgent guidance on what forms I need to fill to allow for the monday and the issues belwo to be handled.
The dispute resolution on feb 2015 was lay magistrate's and I think they just wanted to not deal with the case or were really alarmed by the full blaze and full of complete lies the applicant put in his note .
They got in and immediately said this will now go to final trial. We couldn't say anything but I did get up and say "The law is clear that litigation is NOT in the best interests of teh child. Why is this child being put back into the litigation process when it just less than a year ago had a final trial in front of a district judge ? What is really this overwhelmingly important issue? Actually, what is the issue in teh first place as christmas has now been agreed."
They then changed it soon after checking that the application was sent to them by a district judge allocating it to lay magistrates that yes you will come for another dispute resolution in front of a district judge this time who will decide if this will go to final trial.
His note for that hearing was long and full of lies that can easily be disproved but is revealing of how he goes twisting facts to try to make a case so it is good to have it.
The way he goes about things is that he says many many lies where he puts very little of truth in them to sound plausible, he then tries to connect them or not or just because tehy are so many it makes it easy to sound convincing.
What I have found so far is that although I have evidence and is trivial to show all teh lies one by one for what they are false and twisted collection of small parts of truth fabricated to a lie, they are so many and the process of proving and showing teh truth requires some effort and time that in the end a judge would be more tempted to come up with a middle solution not well thought out.
This middle solution, because he is so aggressive and feels so entitled in his outrageous demands ends up being a huge victory for him. My more reasonable defensive and hesitant-fearful approach and very little demands has meant despite the sacrifices I haven't managed to safeguard the child's best interest effectively so far.
For instance, at the final trial in march, he gave evidence almost the whole first day. I wasn't even allowed to get on the stand as the lawyers were working out an order that was made by consent. He was suggesting things that I had offered months earlier and he had rejected. With the provision that i can take her out of hte country without permission for 28 days i didn't care about the sole residence and I agreed to half of holidays etc easily.
However, at his witness statement, tehre were so many lies, I was presented like a monster. Very easy to disprove lies but I didn't get a chance:
1)He quoted a number of overnight stays over the 2 year interval which made it seem as he was seeing very little his daughter. He was always seeing her as much as I do but for the first 6 months he was sorting out his flat with building work so she wasn't staying with him overnight. He would come to the FMH and I would be away and he would spend time with her, this was not overnight contact per se although he would put her to sleep in her own room.
2)He said that he didn't have long contact periods and this is why he applied to court. But she was only 2 when we separated, overnights started (because of his building work ) almost 5-6 months later and he had 4 day summer contact and the child got really upset as she was only 2.5 and had never separated from me for more than 1 day. Then he had 4 days christmas and I had told him that this was being slowly staged up. About two week intervals I felt were too much too short but once she became a bit older like in a year or so they can be started.
What the court ever ordered I had already offered it many months before but he wouldn't take it.
In reality the twisted lies are far more sophisticated and too many in numbers but each one is trivial to disprove and all evidence is available.
The problem is he makes it all like a very tightlly knit knot and it takes patience to start untying it one lie at a time when everybody is rushing to just get any agreement out.
The truth takes effort and time to discover so then the decision is really in the best interests of the child and not an emotional response to what someone reads about another person in a paper full of lies. If the mother is weak and feels insecure in a system and country that is not her and is a little of a pushover the child suffers.
The real truth behind all this, is actually money along with his abusive personality that is well hidden. He comes from a place of entitlement, superiority over me and that he has to get his way no matter what.
he doens't want to pay anything if possible and he hasn't paid over the 3 years.