Hi Clare, we have never lived together. Yes, I only want to got to SA for visits no longer than a couple of weeks.
Hi Clare, I want to add that I have never left Amy with her dad, Wayne overnight unsupervised. I have on occasion left her for a couple of hours or for a morning while I've gone to work at my house. He has never smoked cannabis at my house and I felt comfortable enough to leave her. He is a attentive dad and Amy is always totally relaxed and happy with him. I would not feel comfortable to leave her alone with Wayne in his house though as I think the temptation to smoke may be too great, especially since I did not realise how bad his addiction is. He has a nephew who he used to babysit, and I know he used to smoke when his nephew had gone to bed as he told me, and now his nephew is 17 or 18 years old and Wayne and him smoke together sometimes.
No, I would prefer him to see Amy in another setting and to have as little contact with him as possible as he pesters me like you cannot imagine. I can't stress enough how much he pesters me to the point of harassment. I would not mind taking Amy to his mother and him seeing Amy there (she lives around the corner from him). I would not be comfortable leaving Amy with her overnight either though, because my trust in her is a bit damaged too, as she knows Wayne smokes cannabis but makes excuses for him and enables him.
I should have told you I arranged for us to go for mediation a week and a half ago, but he refused.
Do I trust him for daytime contact, ooh sorry it's not a yes/ no answer. I wouldn't trust him alone at home with her, and I would worry if he visited friends with her. I don't mind if he visiting at his mum or if he takes her on an outing. Yes, I attended the MIAM alone.
I did trust him in my home alone with Amy as I don't believe he would dare smoke in my house. To be clear, I don't think he would smoke in front of her, but I don't want to take the risk of being too trusting.
Oh yes, I do trust her with that, she is good with her grandchildren.
Hi, yes he is.
Thank you Clare, that does make me feel a bit more at ease. I have a couple more questions if that is ok. I have been told that Wayne would be well within his rights not to return Amy to me after a visit and to insist he is keeping her overnight. Is this correct, what can I do if he does not allow me to take her back/return her to me after a visit? Also am I correct in understanding that when I take Amy abroad, I am required to carry her birth certificate and a letter of permission from her dad?
Thank you for all the information, I do feel more clear on what I need to do in different situations. I am hoping to book to go to SA during the Easter hols. I wondered if I can ask a solicitor to inform Wayne of the dates and ask him whether he has any objections. I would prefer a 3rd person to do this as he told the mediator (over the phone) that he won't stop us from going abroad, but then told me he was going to see a solicitor to stop me. Also if he does see a solicitor to stop me, will I be ordered to hand over Amy's passport?
Thank you Clare! That is a relief, as I am quite certain he would not obtain a court order as he has a aversion towards people of authority.