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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33293
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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there I have a question regarding some type of order I may

Customer Question

Hi there I have a question regarding some type of order I may need for my child or even if I have grounds for it. I separated from my husband in November during this time he applied for a passport behind my sons back, since moving out he has lied about where he lives and has told explicit lies about where he has taken my son to stay. Today after only being out of the home for 25 days he has taken my son out at seven o'clock at night (he is 3yrs old) to meet a woman that he has only recently (in two weeks) been chatting to. Again he attempted to lie about his whereabouts and who my son was with. Is this acceptable as I really feel that his behaviour is becoming unreasonable and deters entail to our son. Do I have grounds for a residency order or something like that? Due to him only just leaving I do not claim benefits yet and need to know if this is something that I should try
Thanks
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Which part of the Uk are you in and what is the current pattern of contact?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'm in Suffolk currently he has our son overnight on a weds and every other weekend, but does stop in regularly (sometimes twice a day! (Which is Becoming a bit of an issue in its self)
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Who holds the passport?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
It has not arrived yet, apparently it is to come to my address but so far I have not seen it and was ordered around Christmas
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Have you checked with the Passport Office?
Does your ex have any family links abroad?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He has family in America but that's all
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
His mother and father arranged the passport so they have admitted that it has been done as my father in law took the paperwork to the passport office
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Why did they apply for it?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He wanted to take him on holiday and said we would discuss it after Christmas as his behaviour was very poor and had recently tried to commit suicide
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Just to check - you mean that your ex had attempted suicide?
Where does he have him when he has the child overnight?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yes, he has him overnight at a place where he rents a room, but I have only recently found out this is where he lives as he told me he lived elsewhere, he has also lied about the identity of the man he rents the room off.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have admissions of his lies via text and via text from his mother
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
What dod you wish to change about the current arrangements?
Who owns the property that you live in?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The house is rented and this where me and my son remain, I am happy with the level of access he has but I am not happy with him lying and taking my child to places and lying about his whereabouts. I guess I am concerned that he may take him somewhere and I can't get him back? I'm wondering that because we both have equal rights I have no position at present to demand that he returned
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
I fully understand your concerns - are you happy with your ex continuing to have overnight contact?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I don't mind at the moment as my son seems to enjoy his time with him, but he is now asking for more access which I think is unreasonable as he is in regular nursery and starts school in September. But as it stands now I'm happy with the access he has
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
What more contact do you need?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'm sorry what do you mean? What more contact would he like?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am happy with things as they are now
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
You said he has asked for more contact - what has he asked for given that what he already has is generous!
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ah sorry, he has asked for a Monday overnight also so four overnight stays one week and then two the next
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
I can understand your concerns bearing in mind that only a few months ago he was threatening suicide!
Are you afraid that he will actually try and remove the child from your care without your agreement?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yes I suppose I am, I'm concerned that he will take him places that are inappropriate for his well being and like you say not return him when agreed
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
You and your ex both have Parental Responsibility for the child and the right to share his care
In general terms parents are expected to agree the arrangements for the care of a child when they separate - using Family Mediation
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
if need be.
It is reasonable for you to wish to know where your child is staying the night, and to be certain that the child is being properly cared for
The starting point is to try and discuss this using Family mediation - but if that fails then you may need to consider applying for a Child Arrangement Order stating that the child lives with you but setting out the contact your ex has with the child; a Specific issue order confirming where the child stays, and possible a Prohibited Steps Order to stop new partners being introduced too quickly.
You may find this website helpful
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/
Please ask if you need further details
Clare

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