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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33283
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Here is the case: My husband is having Asperger Syndrome

Customer Question

Hi
Here is the case:
My husband is having Asperger Syndrome but not diagnosed. He refused any cooperation with me in this matter. I have informed by letter his GP about this as he had heavy depressions with lack of sleep, no eating properly, staying all day long on internet. Without his consent the GP can t do anything.
During one violent meltdown he hit me badly and I reported to my GP this issue as I was worried about hhaving broken ribs.
Once I had to pay a hotel room as I couldn t cope with his behavior.
We have lived in a shared house until January this year. Because of his meltdowns I have rented a second room to have enough space and to be stay away for his crisis. Meantime he started a relationship with a woman and he brought her in 'our' house, living with him. He packed my stuff and forced me to remove all my things from 'his' room, trying once to steal my key from his room. He kept all our electronics , forbidden me even to touch them.
Note that we are married in another law, transferred our marriage in a continental law, not British. He started the divorce, I have received only one document from his solicitor. I have done nothing in this sense.
I want to report this to police as I think he has no right to do this with me, also he is harassing me everyday, threatening and make a huge scandal in the house.
Things can t go like this as I can t cope with this situation.
Thanks for answer.
Clarissa
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How long have you been married - and what assets and income do you each have?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Clare

We are married since December 2010 when we register our marriage at the Council and after we transferred to another law. I have the original certificate from UK.

We have bought some electronics when we had our money together. I am banned to use them. One year ago my husband forced me to transfer £8000 from my account to his bank account. He came at my job and asked me to transfer the money. The bank clerk saw that is something odd and asked me if I want to cancel the transaction> I said no as I was afraid of him. He tried to enter into my bank account but I have changed the password.

After this incident we were separated with money but for one year I have paid the rent only from my income. Since January 2015 we are living in separate rooms in a shared house paying the rent individually.

My income is 25000 per year. I do not know his income as I had no visibility on it. Anyway from previous years I know that he has less than 25000.

We do not have children/pets/other assets.

Thank you

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Do you wish to have a divorce?
What electronic equipment is there?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Clare

My husband started the divorce 2 yrs ago. I want to divorce now after all this struggle. I have received only one 'paper' from his solicitor but is not a final divorce document. I will book a solicitor from UK to be a witness at what my husband have done to me few days ago: throwing me from 'his' room.

Electronics: a Sony camera around 400GBP a tablet around 350GBP a printer around 80GBP a radiator around 50GBP was sent to his house abroad a data storage/back up around 40GBP. Approximately 1000 GBP.

I was banned to use them for more than one year because of his obsessions. All these were bought when our incomes were spent by both of us/before financial separation.

Thank you.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Where are these items now?
What was the last documentation that you received regarding a divorce?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

All the described items are in my husband's room apart from radiator that was sent abroad.

As I mentioned he forced me to transfer £8000 from my account to his account. The bank asked me to cancel this transaction but I refused. After this we were separated from financial point of view.

I have received a letter form the Court saying that a final sentence will be given and the matrimonial status is cancelled. It is not a final decision of the Court and I have done nothing about the divorce. The date of this letter is around Sept 2014.

Thank you

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Do you mean it is the Decree Nisi?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Clare

I don t think is Decree Nisi....the document is saying that the Court will give a sentence in our case that means they will certify the divorce even I have done nothing. In continental law I think it is possible that a divorce can be given without one partner's consent.

As time as I am not doing anything they will give the sentence. I will hire a solicitor to help me with this as I don t know too much.

All I want to do Claire is to get out that woman from our room/my husband's room and not me to be force to leave the house. He is making my life imposible with purpose or not.

I want to go to police to report the case ...do you think is in my help to involve police?

Thank you

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Where is the divorce taking place?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Abroad. France

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
May I ask why you wish to remain in the same property as him?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Clare

I am in a very poor health because of what happened, I do not have enough energy to move into a new accommodation right now, in the next 3 month yes but not right now.

I have already paid the rent for one month and half. I am seriously thinking to move away.

Thanks

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
If you each have your own room already what do you now wish to achieve?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

First of all as I said some electronics are at him. We have our own room but am I entitle to live there?If so why is living another woman there?

It is not 'normal' to throw my things from a property that is mine I suppose and to pick a woman and bring it in the same house with the wife.

Not lastly he is not in a good mental health and something must be done in my opinion. I am living with him for almost 7 yrs and I can t leave the things like that. His GP is only talking with me but no action can be taken without his consent.

Please let me know what is happen if I am going to police and report this to them. What are the consequences for my side.

This is the only question I have to you after all these details.

Thank you

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HI
As I understand it this is a house in Multiple Occupation and you each now have your own room in the shared house.
You were sharing a room with your ex but now have your own room.
All your belongings are now in your room - apart from the items that are in dispute.
Your husband is half way through divorcing you
There is nothing that the police can do I am afraid.
You have your room that you are paying for and he now has his that he is paying for - and he is entitled to have a new girlfriend/partner if he wishes and have him visit his room.
The only area where there is an issue is the way that the electrical equipment is shared between you.
Again this is not something the police can assist with.
You need to discuss this with your ex using Family mediation
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
If that fails you will need to deal with the issue within the divorce proceedings.
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Clare

Thank you for your answer.

I am sorry to find in your response a summary of my case.

Maybe I was not very clear in presenting my case but first of all I must tell you again that

1. I suspect my husband of having mental issues.

2. He was violent with me and I have a record from my GP. Also an invoice from a hotel where I stayed for one night.

3. I will have in a short time a certified document from a witness regarding his violence

4.He forced me to transfer money and tried to steal my card

5. He has a distorted reality with heavy obsessions (reported to his GP by letter) and is smart enough to convince people around us that I am the bad person

6.He made inappropriate expenses and he is in danger of remaining without any income

7.He opened the divorce but lived with me 2 years after

8. Now is trying to remove me from the shared house I live.

9.His GP told me to report this to police when I reported his behavior.

My questions for you are

1. how can I report his mental illness/bad behavior to an authority and how can I be protected by an authority or law.

2.What is the procedure when a person refuses to cooperate regarding his mental health?

3. Other family members can support me with a declaration?

As I told before I do not want to leave the house until I am not find something suitable for me. I have lost a lot of money and I don t want to loose more. Moreover I believe he needs a proper help.

Thank you for your answer.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
You do not have to leave the house if you do not wish to do so,
If you wish to try and recover your money from your ex then you will have to do so within the divorce proceedings.
I am afraid that there is no one to whom you can report his mental illness - that is between him and his doctor
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Relist: Other.
I have asked and paid a detailed answer and I received few words and a summary of my case.
I have seen better answers on this site so I am waiting another opinion
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
We cannot give you an answer that is not correct no matter how unfair we think the law may be for you.
There is no one to whom you can report the fact that your husband has mental health problems other than his GP who you have already told.
It is now up to the GP whether he take sit further or not - and the GP cannot discus sit with you
The only matter that you can report to the police is his assault on you - it is not too late to do this- but it is of course too late form them to photograph your bruising and realistically it is unlikely that they will even arrest your ex let alone charge him
This is what the GP meant when he told you to report it
If he assaults or threatens you again then you MUST report it immediately as it may assist you to obtain an order excluding him from living in the same house as you - but until then he is entitled to live there and to have visitors of either sex.
There is also a financial claim that you have against him - but before you can deal with that you need to find out how far the French divorce actually reached so that you know what further action you can take
Clare

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