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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33323
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Good Afternoon,My son and his girlfriend of about 5 years

Customer Question

Good Afternoon,
My son and his girlfriend of about 5 years seperated last year, it was the girlfriend who left teking their daughter who was only a couple of months old at the time, she left the flat which they were buying jointly and went back to her mothers where she has stayed. they agreed to sell the flat and split to proceeds equally and this has just completed, however there are now issues arising over access.
Now with relation to our Grandaughter my son has had her every weekend plus any additional days off work during the week, and never has there been an issue and he loves having her with him, however hes now being told that this has to change and he can only have his daughter every other weekend, is this fair or is he entitled to more access as hes already proven himself.
also he made financial arrangements with his ex girlfriend when she left and hes always made his payments with no questions, he works full time and has never been violent or even have any criminal convictions, hes a really good lad.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is the baby and what reason has been given for the proposed change?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Good Afternoon Clare,

our Grandaughter is 16months old, it was our sons girlfriend who ended their relationship and she moved back to her mums, our son had to sell their flat and they split the profits, this sale completed on

23/2/2015.

up until the sale our son had his daughter every weekend and any free days off he had during the week, now his ex is saying that he can only have every other weekend, and yesterday she phoned him and said that if he gets a solicitor involved then he will never see his daughter again.

naturally this is a serious and hurtful comment and our son in seriously concerned, we would be grateful for any advice.

Thanks

Colin

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
What explanation did his ex give for changing the arrangements
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

she has said that our son works to many weekends at work, on the weekends that my son does work then my inlaws look after their great grandaughter until he returns.

our son has his own room at my inlaws property and he has moved in there now that he has sold his flat, i must add that my inlaws are very healthy and still both play sports and love having my grandaughter.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
How many weekends does he work?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

evening,

i have just spoken to my son and he doesnt work Sundays, and he only works 1 Saturday a month, very occasionally it may be 2 but that is very occasionally.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Has his ex also withdrawn all midweek contact?
Does the mother work?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

the mother works part time for Tesco, i believe her new arrangement is every other weekend and maybe 1 day in the other week which he hasnt got his daughter.

at present its every weekend and whatever his day off is in the week, so her plans are to halve that.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
It is not unreasonable for the mother to want to spend weekends with the child just as your son does.
On that basis alternate weekends plus a day in the week (two if he has two off) is not unreasonable in itself
However it is not up to either parent to simply dictate the arrangements - it is something that they need to discuss - using family mediation if need be
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
So that they can share the time between them in a away that works for the child - and the parents
he can read more on this website
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/
Please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

morning Clare,

thank you for you replies, with regards ***** ***** ex girlfriends threats that she will stop our son seeing daughter again is this something that she could enforce, does the current system still allow these things to happen ?

i ask this as i know my Cousin went throw a torrid time with his ex wife about 10 years where she constantly stopped access and he was always in Court having it granted only for her to stop it again weeks later.

the system back then seemed extremely flaud with not alot of hope for the fathers.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
The law says that a child is entitled to regular contact with both parents and the courts WILL enforce this
If his ex stops contact then your son needs to go straight to family mediation so that he can make the court application - and then he will need to enforce it if his ex messes him about
His ex will not get Legal Aid which may make her less likely to go to court!
Clare

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