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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34581
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I was granted a residency order 2 children, 2 and a

Resolved Question:

I was granted a residency order for my 2 children, 2 and a half years ago by the courts. They have lived with me since me and their father divorced 9 years ago. One of my children is now saying that they want to live with the other parent which has come out of the blue. My child is 12 nearly 13 years old and doing really well in school, I'm worried this is not the best thing for her as she is settled in school. My ex has sent a letter to the court to amend the order, I want to know what my rights are and what I need to do next.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Have you asked your daughter why she wishes to change her living arrangements?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
She just says she prefers it with him, that's all she has told me. I'm worried that he is manipulating her. Unfortunately I think this all boils down to money as the Csa are chasing him and he is already in arrears of over £3,000 despite having a very good job.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What is the current arrangement - and how will this change?
Will she remain at the same school?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi, both of my children live with me and my partner in Nottingham and their father lives in Lancashire over 2 hours away so it would mean a change of school. My ex husband is also wanting my son who is nearly 10 to also live with him, this would also be a change of school
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What is the longest time she has spent with her father in the past?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
2-3 months, whilst we were going through the courts
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
HI
have you always lived in Nottingham?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
No, we all used to live in Lancashire, but relocated 2 and a half years ago due to my job.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
At 13 your daughter's wishes will be of great importance in determining who she lives with provided it is safe.
She will need to show that she has thought things out carefully, but the fact that she is moving back to old friends certainly makes it likely that the court woudl support it if they feel it is truly what she wants.
The starting point however is to try and discuss it using Family mediation
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
and a mediator trained to work with young people so that there can be some evidence as to whether or not your daughter has indeed considered all aspects of the move
I am sorry I know that this is not good news - but t reflects the legal position that you are in
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Claire, it very upsetting, can you advise me on my son, as he will be 10 in May and I obviously don't want to lose him to
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am sorry - I do understand how distressing it must be.
At 10 your son is too young for his wishes to be decisive - although if he clearly also wanted to return there is a risk I am afraid
Clare
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