Thank you for your assurances. However, I was reading on the internet (always dangerous I know) that judges are starting to be less generous on the financial split on the basis that the new boyfriend might be giving support and that they might consider the fact that a woman is spending time with a boyfriend that she is not interested in her child (even when that time spent is during her 'off duty' period of care). Also the boyfriend is kept far away from home and there is little prospect of him being introduced in the short or medium term - and certainly not before she is divorced and has moved out.
But I am really nervous about the whole thing. I'm terrified that my SIL will find out as my daughter has been telling most of her friends.
Also I think my son-in-law is trying to make a case for her being an unfit mother as she can be a bit volatile and he certainly knows how to push her buttons. I have counselled her to try to keep cool and to walk away but it's not in her nature - and worst of it is that my grand daughter has to hear the rows.
Sorry to ramble on but I am concerned.