Ok thanks for the extra info & sorry for the delay in getting back to you.
I wanted to check if you had a court order dealing with the house and the finances generally, but from what you say, I am pretty sure you don't. That helps you now, because if you did have one, then it would have stated that you could not make any further claim against your ex in relation to your marriage.
That means that you CAN now apply for a court order to decide how the assets of the marriage should be divided between you if you & your ex cannot reach agreement.
The court starts from the position that the assets should be divided 50:50, and then looks at reasons why that should not be the case eg if one party is to provide a home for dependent children and/or one party has a significantly lower income than the other.
I am guessing that your husband's redundancy pay is at least £30,000, and that if he finds work, his income will be similar to yours or perhaps a bit higher? say around £30,000?
Your son will soon be earning something but not much as an apprentice, and I'm guesssing that he will still need to live with one of you.
As you each have a car, I'm going to ignore those as they cancel each other out. The division of the house contents is not usually decided by the court (just agreed by negotiation who is to get what) unless there are any particular items of particular value - so the only matrimonial asset is the mortgage-free house worth £200,000. It's irrelevant that it is in your ex's sole name - you still have a claim on it as an ex-spouse.
If you decide to separate, the ideal scenario which would cause the least disruption for your son, would be for one of you to move out of the house and the other person to stay in the house with your son. However, for that to happen, the person who stays in the house would need to buy out the other person's interest, in return for having the house out into their sole name.
If this was you, and if your income is slightly lower than your husband, then you can argue for 55% or 60% of the assets (but very unlikely that the court would agree to be more than that), so best case outcome is 60% x £200,000 = £120,000. This means that your ex's share of the house would be £80,000, so you would need to pay him £80,000 to get the house in your name. BUT your mortgage capcacity is only 3 x £26,000 = £78,000 , so the question is would your ex accept ( or the court order that he have) £78,000 to be bought out of the house. That may depend on how soon he finds other work what his salary in his new job is, and the amount of his redundancy payment.
On the other hand, if HE stays in the house with your son, the he has an argument that you shuld get LESS than 60% because now HE is providing a home for your son, but you still have a lower income, and he still has his redundancy payment, so perhaps your share then is 55% x £200,000 = £110,00. This combined with your mortgage capcaity of £78,000 would allow you to buy a house or flat for £188,000.
The third alternative is that the house is sold, and the proceeds split eg either 50:50, or 60:40, or 45:55 - but whatever you agree, the conveyancer needs to know BEFORE the net sale proceeds are divided.
If you can reach agreement, then that agreement can be made legally binding by a solicitor drawing it up into a draft consent order which you both sign and which is sent to court for the court's approval. Once approved by the court, it is as binding as an order made at the end of a contested court case, without the need to attend court at all.
You can negotiate either between yourselves, or via solicitors' correspondence or via mediation. The family court anyway now requires the parties to have attempted mediation before it will consider an application to court. Here's where to find a family mediator near you:
Reaching agreemnet is preferable as going to court is stressful, time-consuming and very expensive, so to be considered only as a last resort - unless there's a risk he will sell the house without being prepared to negotiate - see below.
I think at this stage you want to consider all the options, and decide what YOU would like to happen, before you start negotiating. Have a look in estate agents'windows and/or look at Zoopla to get an idea of what local properties are priced at.
Have a word with an independent mortgage broker to see what your mortgage capacity is.
If the case goes to court or you go to mediation (which I recommend) both of you will be expected to give full financial disclosure to the other- and that will include each of your mortgage capacity, and details of his redundancy paymnet and what you each have in bank & building soicety accounts & pensions etc. Don't agree to anything until you are sure that you have the full picture about his finances.
The house is a matrimonial asset because it was the family home while you were married, and there has been no court order dealing with the assets of the marriage. However, the property is in your ex's sole name, which means that at the moment, he is able to sell the property without your knowledge or consent. If you were still married, you could register a matrimonial home rights notice against the property at the Land Registry, which would alert a potential buyer to a matrimonial dispute, and put them off going ahead with a purchase. But you are divorced, so that is not open to you. If there was a real risk that your ex WOULD try to sell the house quickly, before you had either negotiated a settlement or obtained a court order, you would need to make an urgent application to court, and then register a Notice (of a pending land action) at the Land Registry - which would have the same effect of putting off potential buyers.
I think you would benefit from some face-to-face legal advice from a specialist family law solicitor. Here's where to find one near you:
Lots to think about!
I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck.
Thanks and best wishes...
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