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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34589
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Affair during separation ..

Customer Question

My wife and I share our marital home but are separated. There has never been anyone else, ever, our youngest is 19 and at Uni and only the two of us and her Mum (she's been here for 10 years) share our home, with difficulty, but as amicably as possible and it has been up for sale for 9 months.
Once sold we would go our own way. I always said that, had I had an affair, then I would have moved out.
We were aiming for 2 years separation as the basis of divorce (in October 2015) but I found out this week that she has been having an affair since November 2014.
I feel as though I am being taken advantage of now and want to ask her to move out. Do I have the right to do that ??

Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Nicola-mod replied 2 years ago.
Hello,
I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you with your question, but sometimes finding the right Professional can take a little longer than expected.
I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you.
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Expert:  Nicola-mod replied 2 years ago.
Hello,
I apologise as we have not yet been able to find a Professional to assist you. Do you wish for me to continue to search for someone to assist you or would you like for us to close your question at this time?
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Customer: replied 2 years ago.

close and refund please ..

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is ***** ***** I am available to answer your question if you wish me to do so
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

sure .. thank you

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I need some further information I am afraid.
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
What income do you each have?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

house is £320,000

No mortgage

Joint of £25,000 + £15,000

Not sure where that takes us with 'do I have the right to ask her to move out .. ?

I want to keep it amicable, BUT, I can't stay in my family home with her having a new partner now, out of the blue, further complication is her Mum, who I adore, who lives with us .... she needs a £25,000 payment from each of use - money she gave when we built her extension / self contained flat 11 years ago ... which we're both happy to do.

Morally, I want her to move out (not her Mum, happy for her to stay until we sell). I see no reason about from psychologically freeing myself from a terrible situation, that I should go when I have done nothing to deserve it and can hardly afford it on £15,000 without selling the house - her new man however has two houses ...

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am sorry but neither of you can make the other move out.
The only basis on which that could happen is if there was violence involved, in which case the perpetrator would be forced to leave
I appreciate that this is bad news - but sadly it is the law as it stands.
Please also be aware that if you are in the same house you must be living absolutely separately - no shared cooking, cleaning, washing or shopping as otherwise it does not count so far as the courts are concerned
I am sorry to give such bad news - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

thank you for your honest answer ..... I presume I can now move forward with a quickie divorce then, for adultery ??

Despite her infidelity, I know she will brazen it out and stay in our family home, because her mum is here

So, despite me not doing anything whatsoever apart from being a 'bad husband' after 30+ years together, and not being able to afford to move out of a home we cannot sell, I have to share a space with her.

jeez ..

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I am afraid so.
If you want to use adultery as a ground then I am afraid you will need her co-operation - but Unreasonable Behaviour is another swift option
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34589
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Is adultery an affair, or confirmed sexual activity ??

I know and have evidence of an affair of the mind, and an affair of the heart and I'm pretty sure that an affair of the body has also taken place with overnight stays at his home and the week they are currently on in Croatia ..... but no 'evidence'

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Adultery is the sexual act - hard to prove unless there is a baby involved I am afraid
However what she has done certainly amounts to Unreasonable Behaviour
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Right .. which is why she has to agree to adultery ... I see

many thanks .. wish me luck !

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Exactly so - and I do hope things go well for you
Clare