What is Family Mediation and could you tell me how to apply for it? Because there was domestic violence I believe I need not apply for this? The Order directs that F and I attend Solution Focussed Therapy sessions courtesy of the L.A, which we have done. But these are independent of the legal process.
There are two other issues looming, one imminent. As you know, F has asked that i agree to our daughter having an additional German passport. I have replied that I see no reason for her to have such a thing as she already has a passport and I will happily hand this over if he abides by the Order by giving me proper notice and itinerary. F may be intending to email me about this soon, I don't know what he will say - probably that he intends to apply for one anyway. (However, he needs my permission for a German passport to be issued).
Secondly, I may feel I need to apply to the court for more child maintenance. But I will leave this subject for now.
My point is - should I await to see what F has to say next about the additional passport before applying for mediation/applying to the court, to avoid having to apply to the Court twice or possibly three times on separate issues?
Thank you Clare.
Since the question as to what constitutes a sailing vessel has been a point of contention since the final hearing, with F defining it in the way the YHA does (a vessel propelled by sails) - could you advise please if I can take this opportunity of applying to the court, to get clarification on this issue.
Something along the lines of "i ask the court to consider the extention of the current prohibition which applies merely to sail-propelled vessels, to other watercraft such as barges and motor-powered boats' as father's history of dangerous sailing suggests to me that he may also pose a danger to our daughter on such vessels"?
Also, must I choose different solicitors to our previously used ones for the application for mediation? Thanks
Thanks for your advice. Sorry to be dim but I don't understand why I could be called paranoid by F when the court found him a danger on a yacht, when a moving barge on which he was in charge could pose a relatively similar although lesser threat. Doesn't it follow that I could be called similarly paranoid for asking for safety training before being allowed to canoe with F?
I just want to get it clear in my head and get it right. If F was forced to out our daughter through canoe training he well decide to taunt me with a canal holiday or one where he motor-powers his yacht.
Clare I just want you to know you are worth your weight on gold by the way.
I agree that a motored sailing craft is as bad as a sailing yacht. I take your point about the court and a barge holiday. Therefore can I utilise this opportunity to ask the court for clarification as to what is considered prohibited for the avoidance of doubt in the future? I would like to have confirmation regarding a motor-powered boat at sea. At present only a "sailing vessel" is named in the order.
Sorry, I don't understand what you mean. I have emailed a mediation organisation to start the process. Then I presume I have to fill in an application to the court. What "application" are you referring to and how do you mean it will come up without a doubt, as I presumably have to be careful what I write on the application and what I say in court. I am hoping to do all this without a solicitor or barrister. Perhaos you can explain the process to me. Thank you
Is the prohibitive steps order to ask that he not take L canoeing or kayaking until the court has decided? And the specific issues order to direct that he must allow Lily some training? Do I apply for both once mediation is rejected?
No, they are ongoing.
However, I have raised this issue at one, asking that F inform me first please if he intends to take our daughter onto the water, so that I could provide her with any safety equipment that would be required, if he had not already done so - all to no avail. He just says he doesn't need my input and that he will do what he wants because the Section 7/LA di not conclude he was a danger to Lily and therefore, given the recitals in the court order only relate to a "sailing vessel", I have no grounds on which to attempt to influence what he does in relation to other watercraft.
I think that the fact that he wants to take L canoeing and kayaking without any training at all - not even a professional drill on what to do if you capsize - is supportive of the idea that he is not acting responsibly
Anyway, I have sorted my individual mediation session for this coming Monday and they have advised I need not inform F at this stage.
Thankfully I have not heard back from him re obtaining a German passport for her. I hope I don't.
I have attended mediation. I was asked what the issues were so I mentioned watercrafts and I also mentioned maintenance. I was told maintenance was something that could be dealt with at mediation. I was told that there would be disclosure of assets etc. I was very happy about this because F has a lot of money in shares, properties etc. However he has a low income from working, since losing his job as a teacher due to the allegations against him. (I don't know what his income is). He can. and presumably does, however, draw on a private income.
F was invited to mediation and was unwilling because he could not afford it. (This is of course ridiculous, he is one of the richest person I know).
In a room outside court at the final hearing,my barrister asked F's barrister if he would consider increasing the maintenance he gives me for Lily and he said No, and that if he didn't pay me privately I would get £0 if it went via the CSA due to his low income.
I have not been able to buy a new home. This one is on the market, but F is a two third owner. I will be renting with my new partner. I will have to provide a bedroom for my son and one for my daughter. I would like to buy a home in the future. I will earn a lot less when I move.
I am paid £300 pcm which I consider insufficient. This covers food for Lily and not much else. Given that F has a lot more money than I, can I add something to my application to the court, asking for more maintenance and for full and frank disclosure of F's assets?
That would be a SEPARATE Children Act applictaion - the one that we have discussed before in terms of the house
However if you also wish the court to deal with the Child Maintenance you MUST first obtain a CMS assessment - then apply to have that "topped up" on the basis of his capital position