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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34105
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have joint custody of my 14 & 12 year old sons by order of

Resolved Question:

I have joint custody of my 14 & 12 year old sons by order of the court from 5 years ago both of them don't want to live with him and want to stay with myself. What steps can I take and is it against the law to stop sending them to him
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What is the current pattern of care and why do they no longer wish to spend time with their father
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

The current pattern is they go to there father Friday after school back with me on a Saturday there dad on a Sunday me on a Monday dad Tuesday myself Wednesday and Thursday they don't want to go as he's had my oldest son by the throat against the wall he believes in smacking them and is also mental abusive telling them they won't amount to anything also if they put tshirts etc in wrong drawers he emptys the full lot out and makes them refold and sort correctly whitch to me is extreme. My oldest son is at breaking point he's telling me he would rather be dead than go back there

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
It also sounds incredibly confusing
Have they told their father how they feel - or are they too scared to do so?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

They are to scared to do so Claire i was with him for 8 years before I had children with him and suffered extreme mental abuse although at the time didnot relise it

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I do understand that.
On the positive side at 14 it is entirely up to your eldest son how he shares his time between you and if he does not wish to return to his father's house he does not have to do so and no one, not social services, the police nor the courts will force him to do so
Things are not quite as straight forward with the 12 year old - but it is still very unlikely that the Court would ignore his wishes with regard to where he lives, and again neither Social Services nor the police will take any action if he simply does not go back.
Technically the way forward is to discuss matters with your ex using aFamily mediation and a mediator trained to work with young people
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
When that fails you can then apply to the court for a Child Arrangement Order which varies the existing arrangements.
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
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