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Kasare
Kasare, Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 204
Experience:  Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
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I have two children to two different dads. My eldest son is

Customer Question

I have two children to two different dads. My eldest son is 7 and has a court order custody of Tues from 3.15pm until Wed 6pm and alternate weeks of Friday 3.15pm until Sat 12pm or Sat 9am until Sun 9am. Also 2 1 week holidays within a year. I have split up with my partner of 6 years who I have my second child to, who will be 3years in August. We split up 3 months ago and had agreed the same custody arrangements - which fits in with the dads work schedule and means that when the boys are with me they are also together.
The children are very close and if one is there without the other they constantly ask for each other. The child of number two has just contacted me to say that he has decided to go for joint custody. I am very concerned as I feel this would separate the children from each other too much and would have a detrimental effect on their wellbeing.
Is it likely that this would be granted and they would be forced to be separated?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What pattern of shared care does father number two actually want?
Why do neither of the fathers have a full weekend with their child?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Clare,

He said he wants 3 days one week and four days the next.

When access was agreed for father number one and we went to court he did not request a full weekend with child number one. The access was similar before we went to court as he had the same days on a tues/wed but every week he had 12pm Fri until 12 pm Sat. The court order changed this to the alternate weekend access that is in place now. This court order came into place in December 2012.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Would you agree to father number two having a full weekend on alternate weekends - say Friday to Sunday?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

This seems like quite a lot - as when will both children see each other? They are really close and when either child is in the house without the other they constantly ask for each other. I work full time (Mon - Fri) so the children go to breakfast club and nursery - we leave the house at 7.15am and I pick them up by approximately 5.30pm. Father number 2 works alternate Friday and Saturdays - therefore Father number 1 swapped his weeks so that it would coinside with Father number 2's weeks - so that the Friday and Saturday access would be the same.

Would it not be better to do the weekend when father number two would have him Saturday morning until Sunday morning - to have first thing Saturday morning until 5 or 6pm on Sunday night but every fourth week - so his brother can still see him on the Friday - and me. As your question would mean father number two would get a full weekend every other week, or even one in four - and I would never have a full weekend?

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Dealing only with child 2 for now - what I mean is that he will spend alternate Friday to Sundays with his father - so you will also have full weekends with him- or have I missed part of the pattern?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sorry, now I understand - it is not ideal but I guess I would be willing to do that.
I know you said you were dealing with child number two first but I still don't see how two brothers are going to see each other if one of them is not at home from Friday until Sunday every other weekend?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Could Child number one have a similar arrangement with his father?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I thought with a court order you were not allowed to make changes?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
You can if you both agree - is it possible that the father of child number one might be interested in full weekends with his child?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare,
Yes it is a possibility but he is not as keen as father number two, but I could ask. If this is suggested to father number two and he declined, as he still wants joint custody like he stated - which he classes as a possible 3 days one week and four the next. Is it likely that a judge will grant this and split the kids up into s pattern where they are not going to see much of each other. I also think he may be doing this as he does not want to pay any child maintenance. At the moment father number two has not paid maintenance since we split in early February, I also pay the childcare - although I do get some help with it through tax credits. He said he will once I have remortgaged and given him his share out of the house. I had teething problems doing as I tried to do an application without an advisor but this is now sorted and I should be able to give him his money hopefully in the next few weeks.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
How much is the house worth an dhow much is outstanding on the mortgage?
Clare

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