Hi Clare, sorry for the delay in my reply.
My children have stated that they wish to remain living with us and continue with contact arrangements as they are. They have never said they do not want to live with us but they have said they do not wish to live with their father. They also state that it makes them feel angry when he pressures them to say they want to live with him.
Myself and their stepdad try to give them as much opportunity to talk about their feelings as we can without putting pressure on them to make a choice.
My concern is the level of manipulation and bribery the their father carries out - he buys presents which remain in the dining room untouched untill they do or say what he wants them to. He is putting a great deal of pressure on them to say to teachers etc that they "hate" me and want to live with him but luckily we have a good school and the children have told the senco teacher that he is telling them to say these things.
My eldest daughter has stated on more than one occasion after just 2 hours of contact that "she wishes she was dead" because he did not stop pressuring her the whole time.
I worry that they may state under pressure that they want to live with him because its easier to get him off their back.
Contact is every other weekend school to school and wednesday nights alternate overnight one week and 2 hours for tea the next.