Sorry to take time to get back to you. I am in the Philippines and brownouts are rampant here.
My daughter Alana is 16 and my son Ronan is 13.
Last time I saw them was September 2013 in Calais. Their mother met me there with them. I am a travel writer and my wife and I will be moving to N. Cyprus in July.
After the the visit in Calais she refused to allow Alana, then 15, and Ronan 12 to visit me on their own despite me paying for round trip tickets for the children. Alana has since found that at 16 she can come to see me without her mother's consent.
The children had told me that they wish to live and go to school in the UK and visit me on breaks and holidays. Which is ok for me. I have no desire to change their regular life - just being able for them to visit me when they want.
BACKGROUND: in May 2008 I caught Vanessa cheating on me with a man (and I use that word only as a description of gender) who she offered to make him our children's new daddy in their email exchanges and move him into our house. BTW everything I say here I have hard copy proof and/or personal experience. Further investigation of him revealed him to be a serial user of Kent whores - I have copies of 169 emails between him and the whores and his soliciting sex and offer to pay. In speaking with his wife I discover also that he had been cheating on his wife of 15 years. She further provided me with information that she suspected him of having sex with their 10 year old daughter. I also discovered he drives under the influence of drug or alcohol.
After giving this information to Vanessa she lied and said she'd end it. We had a major row after she announced to me on a Saturday she wasn't ending it. The following Monday I tell her I am divorcing her and taking the kids from her. She drives me to Canterbury to get the divorce then goes to her boss to tell her she wasn't going to work that I had raped her. Her boss offered to call the police or go with her. Vanessa refused and went to Kent police and met an off duty police officer (whom I have reason to believe is a personal friend). The officer calls me and asked me to come in for questioning. When I do I am immediately arrested for rape.
I am sent to to prison. Two days later HE moves into my house with my kids. The following week they go to the children's school fair and she introduces him as her new partner. I get visits from people in the village saying how they don't believe her that I raped her.
At the first trial it is a hung jury for the rape, but I am found guilty of false imprisonment - my prison probation officer said how the hell did they find me guilty of FI if I am trying to throw her out and she is trying to stay in. The second trial trial my barrister argues I can't get a fair trial because the second jury won't have the same info. The judge overrules him. Also the above emails and the fact she moved him into the house two days after I go to prison are ruled by the judge as inadmissible. Further evidence from my first trial is suddenly ruled inadmissible also.
The second jury found me guilty of rape and not guilty of other charges. Other charges were variations of rape. My barrister quit the legal profession after my trial as he was fed up with the way the law is so easily weighted against a man. It's only her word against mine and all evidence to show her intent to get rid of me and move him in is ruled inadmissible. I am found guilty of rape. I am given a 10 year sentence.
I take voluntary deportment after four years and five months in prison. As such I can not return to the UK for 10 years.
2008 she does not divorce me but brings the kids in to visit me. On these visits she hugs and kisses me and wears low cut blouse and/or tight tops without a bra. 2009 I seek advice to divorce her. She sends a letter to my solicitor saying that I can divorce her on grounds of adultery provided it didn't cost her anything. She finally divorces me in August 2014. The divorce papers list me as having no fixed place to live. Not that I travel for a living. I do have a permanent address in the USA.
Vanessa is emotional/mentally ill and has asked me to arrange a psychological examination for her. To be used for the appeal I am forming, that she is incapable of telling the truth under duress and will lie to protect herself/look good to her friends due to her personality disorder(s). In the mean time it is next to impossible for me to do so here. I would love to find a UK judge who'd listen to me and order the exam.
I also have letters from her saying it wasn't her who instigated the restrictions of my contact with the kids while in prison. That it was the prison, the police and the parole officer. Later my prison law specialist calls her to ask her support to get the restriction lifted. In the recorded conversation with Vanessa she says to him that it wasn't the prison, the police, the parole officer it was her who wanted it. I get the restrictions lifted threatening to sue the prison for violation of mine and my kids right to a family life. I get a letter from the governor saying that the restrictions were wrong to begin with as there are no court ordered restrictions for me with my children.
Now she won't allow the kids to visit because she feels I will abduct the kids. I have explained to her that I. Wouldn't do that for the major reason it would be illegal and I'd go to prison. She refused to get our sons UK birth registered with the American Embassy. They sent her numerous letters and when I asked Vanessa why she didn't answer them to get our son registered she said she thought they were scams phishing for personal information. Finally the Embassy saw how uncooperative she is and ordered our sons birth certificate.
That's it in a large nutshell. I am also aware that the UK has passed recent favorable laws for the parent being denied access to their children. Vanessa relies heavily upon pleasing her so-called friends when it comes to looking good to them. Friends that drug users and thieves themselves. She will do and say anything to not look bad to others. I am 68 and I have had 16 TIAs over the past three years and two recent ones. She knows that I can't return to the UK so she uses that to keep our children away from me. She is also aware that my health isn't good and she uses that against me.
Our daughter was told by her mother she was free to visit me when she turns 16 which she turned last December. Our son asked to visit me with his sister this August and she told him he couldn't till he was 16. When the kids asked why they had to wait she said it wasn't up to her it was what the government had said.
She is also aware of the long delays with the courts should I decide to fight it in court - UK or EC.
I do not want to wait another three years to see my son. Already he's becoming a man. I have missed my children's lives from when they were 8 and 5.
I hope you can help shed some light on how best to get her to allow our son to visit me. Both of them want to be with me. We have contact via social websites and Skype and FaceTime. I bought them MacBook and iPhones so they could contact me at anytime. I also support them emotionally and financially, buying groceries, clothing, pocket money etc. we are in constant contact with each other.
Physical contact September 2013
Via internet frequently.
I will be flying her round trip to TRNC in August.
Since I have been in the Philippines it's not as frequent due to the time differences of 7 - 8 hours. When they get home from school it is already going on midnight here. Ronan and I text weekly once or twice. Or whenever he needs money or has a question concerning homework or other things. We play internet pool or scrabble monthly for two hours Via Skype or FaceTime. He's not big on Facebook. Today we texted on our iPhones and saw each other on FaceTime after school.
Alana and I text 4 - 5 times a week. Facebook we do 2 - 3 times week. FaceTime monthly. More if she's having boyfriend problems :-) Or needs money. BTW Alana confides in me about her BF problems seldom her mother. As well as other personal things. We have an agreement concerning me not telling her mother things, which is I will not tell her mother unless it impacts Alana's wellbeing.
When they have studies for homework or GCSEs as they are undergoing now then I wait for them to contact me. Today Alana and I have used Facebook three times and we were together with Ronan on FaceTime today.
When I lived in Cyprus or the States we'd be in contact daily.
When I was in prison I called them twice a day - in the morning before school to tell them I love them and have a good day, and in the evening to ask about their day and say good night and I love them. And as often as I could on weekends.
If you want copies of text messages between us where they say they want to visit me I'll send you those.
Thank you for all your replies. I'd like to know how long applying to the courts and getting a decision will take. I realize that's asking how long a piece of string is, but if you can give me an approximate amount of time I'd appreciate it.
Why is it that I, who has no court ordered restricting me to see my children have to now go to court to enforce our human rights of a right to a family life? If I take the children away from her I go to prison for abduction. Why can't the police be involved here?
I'd also like to know the possible penalties if the court order is breached by her.
If my son decides he wants to go with his sister to visit me can his mother legally stop him?
Can Ronan retain a solicitor to be free to visit me based upon his mother violating his right to a family life and if he did this would the courts act on it faster?
Thank you for your time. Your advice was very helpful.