How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Kasare Your Own Question
Kasare, Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 204
Experience:  Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
Kasare is online now

My wife is an alcoholic. I have a significant disability. I

Customer Question

my wife is an alcoholic. I have a significant disability. I asked my wife (married 8 months) to leave. I have said that I want us to get back together, if she engages with therapeutic services and, can resolve the underlying anxiety and past history (before us) issues. Her family are now asking that I cease all contact. This is making me nervous, worried and stressed. I don't want to get divorced or separate permanently, but think I need to safeguard my position - just in case.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How long have you actually lived together and what are you currently worried about?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

We have lived together since Sept 2012. The house (mortgage) is in my name and we have separate bank accounts. My concern is that in her current mental state and with the alcoholism she is not making best interest decisions. Others may influence Kirstie. Is there anything I can do to safeguard my own position, but leave the door open for her to return if she wants to following the necessary inteventions and therapy.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
When you say "safeguard your position" - what is it that you fear?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I rely on carers. Over the past two years Kirstie assumed more of the caring responsibility - in nutshell (and the words of others) she became obsessed with me. Excluded my care team as much as possible - which all contributed to her rise in anxiety and helped her to disguise her drinking. I have had to call emergency services 3 times in 6 weeks to help pick her up after she became so intoxicated. Having said all that, if Kirstie accepts the help offered by professionals, she may get through this and, I will be waiting. However, she may decide (and has already muted that, 'it is no longer her home, but she still loves me'). If Kirstie wants to formally separate, can I safeguard my position in terms of the house and any savings (on the premise the relationship broke up within 2 years due to unreasonable behaviour on her part)?

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
How long have you actually lived together?
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
What other assets and debts are there and what income do you each have?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

2 years - £130K on mortgage - I paid off £90k from my own money before we got together. House is worth £220K. No debts - my income is from a pension (veterans agency &royal navy prior to us being together). Kirstie has access to ex husbands pension. Recently Kirstie lost her job and is awaiting prosecution on a drink drive offence. A real mess.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Did she bring any capital to the marriage?

Related Family Law Questions