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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 32999
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Is a transcript of a phone conversation admissible

Resolved Question:

Is a transcript of a phone conversation admissible in a family court or civil court and is a recording of a phone conversation between husband and wife or father and child admissible in a family court or civil court?

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What is the gist of the conversation and what do you wish to prove with it?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you Clare,

I have made many phone recordings covering everything I need to prove social services are wrong. I can mention one straight away here for example and send another soon.

My 7y daughter is key witness in a breakout of domestic violence in our house. she was thrown over backwards to the ground from standing by her mum (my wife). What happens next leads to me being accused of domestic violence and forced to leave my wife and 3 children and its been 7 months now. I have been to the hearing at court for assaulting my wife and the case was dismissed because there was no evidence offered, no injuries, no previous, no support from the victim. I was not believed and again not believed by the social services, my testimony as the key witness was ignored, and I am now still isolated from my family and residing 170 miles away. My children are suffering badly, alienation from their dad. The social services say I am a risk to the children and make up new allegations to support this (like my mental health and finances and most of all that I just cant understand that I am a risk to the children).

The recorded conversation goes:-

Me: Ok 7y can I ask you again, why did mama push you over?

7y: I cant remember.

Me: can you remember her pushing you over?

7y: yes


I now have to take social services to court for perverting the course of justice, because I have been wrongly accused, they are supporting my wife and saying I think you're a brilliant mum, you can be your own woman, think about moving and I think you should have the kids. They are about to serve a letter before action on me and I want to make a complaint to the police about the social services staff and then maybe file a civil court case.

I am not allowed unsupervised contact with my children, I am living temporary accommodation and miles away, I wasn't taking my medication for mental health condition of hebephrenia at the time as the condition was consistently managed over 10years.

They have denied me access to my mental health records, my children, and the minutes of the Child Protection Plan meeting in November etc.

Yet the burden of proof falls on me!

So I want to prove that my wife was the perpetrator of violence in our house that day and the testimony of my daughter 7y confirms this (if my wife doesnt during a counter claim on her I am yet to make).

I have recorded many admissions by my wife that are in my favor and will look up a few of them and talk here again soon.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
If that is an example then no that is not something that you could use - and you must not do so as it will backfire on you very badly
That example would in fact be used against you as evidence of emotional abuse of the child.
No child should be questioned in that way - especially not be one parent about the other parent.
It seems that the criminal case is over (which is good) so I am not sure what proceedings are currently being considered.
If it is Care Proceedings that are being threatened then you need to take this seriously and not give them any evidence that they do not already have
I am sure that you will have other questions - please do not hesitate to ask them
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 32999
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Good advice Clare, thank you.

It is care proceedings that are being threatened.

Would it be a good Idea to make counter allegations to the police and see if the police will get a conviction out of my wife for assaulting 7y, would the care proceedings then be in my favor and I can get victim support and legal aid etc.

Surely the services have questioned 7y so they should know the assault I told them about by my wife on 7y is true.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
At this stage making such an accusation is more likely to the lead to the children being placed into foster care
How old are the children, and who do they currently live with.
Why are care proceedings being threatened?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you so much, really appreciate it.

Children are 9y, 7y, and 4y currently living with Mum at the family home (privately rented with a joint tenancy). I have been made instantly homeless (now staying in a home that is on the market being sold by my family), even though I am a vulnerable citizen with a mental health condition. I will have to move out upon sale.

I dont know why proceedings are being threatened, I have to guess, was it because I threatened to take them to court and then apologized saying I wouldn't because I would rather be united with my family quickly.

Maybe its because I assaulted my wife because she was laying into me with kicks and thumps for a second time and I calmed all that down by using a memory foam pillow to hit her arms back. (That's when she called the police).

Maybe its because I did get the video on then and filmed my wife whilst she phoned the police and followed her around counter alleging that she was the violent one (and she gave me an ABH kick) whilst she was on the phone to the police because I wouldnt stop following and videoing her (as I was gaining evidence - well so I thought). This video being all in front of 7y screaming daddy stop please just stop and 4y who was quiet.

Maybe its because when I went to leave I went to ask the children to come with me and mama tried to shut them in the bathroom away from me and they were both then screaming and crying out as if I was hurting them (only audio picked up this bit).

However to me I was just gathering evidence at the scene of the crime and I thought all this was happening because my wife chose to call the police and it freaked the children out (along with my behavior of course)

What really concerns the social worker on the case is that I always point to my wife as the culprit and more especially that I just cant see how much of a risk I am to the children.

The children were frightened, my wife was frightened - especially as I was videoing and calling out to the police on my wife's phone call, calling to them telling them I was here videoing all the evidence of the violent person.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Can I assume that there is no chance that you and your ex will resume your relationship?
Having written it out can you see why your behaviour may have caused concern?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you again Clare,

There is no chance of a sexual relationship again, my wife is always a refuser. She says on recording that she is asexual and at other times she says its because I invested too much money in my work without putting any on the table for her. She says she would look after me and shes there for me, but it sounds like sweet talk in the wake of her imminent possible demise. ie possible criminal convictions loom and children can be taken away.

The social services have given her a solicitor accredited in advanced family law, family mediation and children law. Her solicitor sent me a letter before injunction at the end of April asking me to not return to the house and not assault or pester her in future, otherwise they will be seeking injunction for me to not enter the family home.

Yes I see how my situation looks like a cause for concern on the surface, and that puts me in a fix. If I had just phoned the police in the first instant on my wife when she assaulted 7y I would not have to try and defend against false allegations. Everything I did from then on was as a result of being an emotional abused victim of that horrible crime of hurting me by throwing my daughter to the floor.

Why didn't the police prosecute her, investigate whether 7y says she was pushed over by her mum. How do they account to themselves that I was trying to video as a result of this crime and they ignore my testimony. - In fact they now say the recording of my testimony failed at the point where I was arrested (what convenient coincidence) just when I need the evidence of my testimony the police equipment fails to take it and the attending officers deny the content of what I said --and write in their notebook he said 'I hit her with a pillow and she is not injured'. I now know this looks like perverting the course of justice. My video evidence, my computer and my phone were seized. I have just got my SD card video evidence back and can start the long haul to clear my name but it seems very difficult. Even when I have explained to you it sounds bad but in the light of looking at my wife's crime to hurt me, I could have lost it and punched her, kicked her thrown her to the floor and taken the phone away from her until she recovered and it flelt like she cloud have deserved alot more. However I thought I will do the right thing, get all the evidence of her rage on video, and in the worst case scenario I would have protection against false allegations. I didnt manage to get the video on in time - if I had it would have been on when my wife was beating me up too and I would be vindicated. The video being taken in the end was a bit too late and it looks bad on the surface but what it does show is that it confirms that my attitude was indeed to record my wife out of order in a criminal way, and that I had chose to video her which shows my hands were on videoing her and not on hurting her in retaliation of the harm she had caused me was what I was trying to use it for. This shows that I am consistently adamant that this is my wifes incident and I am just trying to cope with it by doing the right thing instead of the wrong of retalliation and deny her the grace to be able to phone the police. I was obviously too nice toward her because I am the one who has not been heard and believed even though my 7y is witness.

Me pushing my wife's attacking arms away may even look like daddy is hitting mum in her hindsight when the services talk to her later on.

My actions are that of a man who was severely abused in that moment 7y hit the ground, a man that was now a scared and innocent victim in a scary crime, and a man that just tries to do the right thing by not hitting back with revenge, by speaking up, by protecting himself and by gaining and giving evidence by video.

7y was upset and crying and inconsolable because her mum was sending her Dad to the police by the phone. She was begging her not to - mum carried on disregarding her. Then the tables turned when I started raising my voice so the police could hear me speak up as my wife blatantly lies to the police in front of the camera and she is believed 'My husband is killing me' I am following her, both hands on the video so there she is blatantly lying and further emotionally devastating me in an abuse I have not been able to recover from. That statement was the only statement read out in court, did I say that - I was asked, I replied 'not guilty' of course and that was the first 6months of the hell of being wrongly accused and having to defend myself whilst my wife and the services were perverting the course of justice. eg the police had the video of me following my wife around as she went to phone the police and lie that I was killing her and they had the audacity to present that as their evidence against me in court knowing full well from my (the defendants own evidence) that it proves my hands were on the camera, no injuries on the wife, and that I was far from killing her I was in fact giving her the grace to even phone the police. (obviously in hind sight I just had to be a bit more worldly wise and shut the phone calling off until my wife had totally calmed down and sorted this out by our own peaceful negotiations between us)

.........7y then turned from being upset with mum to being even more upset with me and inconsolable upset by me videoing mama and speaking out to the police.

ps: I have just received an email from my wife which the total content reads:-

Hi Man, The letter from the solicitor is there just in case there was any problem. You have never assaulted me and you are not a danger to the children.

Sent from my iPhone 10:51am

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
I will be blunt. using the Video was a disastrous mistake which made matters worse and led to the position that you are in.
If instead you had removed the children and yourself to a place of safety then whilst you night not have had "evidence" of her rage you woudl not have looked as if you were trying to provoke her
The question is whether this is a marriage that you wish to continue or not
There is no question now of any prosecution of your ex.Your child has already been traumatised and trying to involve her in any court case would amount to abuse.
You need to stop looking back and start looking forward - decide what it is that you want - Reconciliation or Divorce and action that

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