How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33320
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
13262538
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
Clare is online now

My wife has been having an affair with her business partner

Customer Question

My wife has been having an affair with her business partner and this caused the collapse of our 12-year marriage. We have 3 children, aged 11, 8 and 6 and the eldest is disabled. She has been living at our family home, which is owned by me. She wants to separate and has driven this process. She co-owns a fitness business with her business partner but refuses to draw a salary from the business, as she is in the process of buying into the business with her monthly salary. Her business partner has offered her different financial offers including postponing her buy-in and offering her salary, as an option to support herself. As a result of this "lack" of income, she has been trying to make me leave the home, as she is concerned that she will not be able to rent a house. She is also telling me to support her as well as contributing to the care/food of our kids (which I of course will do). I feel that I should not support her directly but of course the kids, especially she is now in relationship with her business partner. I have also been out of work and she has refused to help pay any of the household bills or food as she will not take any money out of "her" business. In addition, we have agreed to jointly parent the children, but I have had to take a new job which will result in me being away from home for 4 nights a week. As a result of this she is further threatening to apply for me to be excluded from our family home, which we are selling anyway (due to financial distress). She will not accept that I make my own childcare arrangements (eg family) if I happen to be away at work during "my" time with the kids. What are my rights in respect of my home, in respect of my wife's refusal to contribute to family finances and ask me therefore to support her? What is a normal level of contribution to a spouse for children's maintenance? What can I do during my "time" with my kids in respect of childcare? Can she Force me out of the house despite the separation coming from and being forced by her actions?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
What income do you both have (or shoudl /will have)
What other assets and debts are there?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thanks Clare -

House is worth 700k with mortgage of 550k. However, the equity in the house belongs to my Mother who has loaned us the deposit. There are loan agreements in place that date back to 2010 that cover this when the house was purchased.

We have family debts of around 50k that relate principally to two things - legal, educational and medical costs associated with my eldest son, who is profoundly autistic, for a year spent being homeschooled pending a successful SEN Tribunal and a new school placement. We removed him from his old school after he was the victim of abuse in what our local authority recognised was a failing special needs school and it took a year to get him placed at our local primary school with appropriate provision where his siblings are. Total cost for the Tribunal and attendant medical evidence and homeschooling were £75k.

The debts also relate to a failed retail business my wife had started had 4 years ago, when I took out around £15k of loans to finance her working capital needs before the business was shut. The total cost of the business failure was around £30k in total.

All the loans and mortgage are in my name, as my wife had no income to display at the time there were taken out.

I have had no income for three months after I put my business into insolvency, but am about to start a new job on a salary of 130k per annum.

My wife has a 50% share in a local fitness business. This was valued at around £70k in December 2013, when she entered into the partnership, which is covered by a partnership agreement. Her £35k share is being paid for by working for 12 months without drawing down on the partnership. In other words her salary is technically 35k but she is not receiving any income, as her full-time work there is payment in kind for her share. Prior to this she had been being paid around £1k per month for her work in this business, income she stopped receiving when she entered into the partnership. This at least more than covered the child care costs to enable her to work.

I supported her entering into the partnership as I knew it was important to her, although I did not expect it would also lead to the break-down in our marriage after she has started an affair with her business partner. He has left his wife and kids and his wife is seeking a divorce.

She also receives various allowances relating to our disabled son (Carer's allowance and direct payments) which amount to around £550 per month. She also receives £800 a month from personal training outside of her business partnership. All of this go to her newly opened sole account and are used for her sole benefit and not any family bills etc. She is also applying for tax credits which will pay around £1k per month.

Given the growth in her business, it will be worth in the region of £250k come December when her buy-in will be complete and she can start drawing out of the partnership. She could take some money out now but she does not want to as it will delay the completion of her stake acquisition and instead continues to rely on me to finance everything. The business has about £50k of cash in the bank right now.

We have no other material assets, save a car worth £5k or so.

Many thanks for your help,

Robert

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HI
How much would an alternative property in the same school area cost to buy?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Our house is larger than average - 5 beds, 3 bathroom. A more normal family house ( 3 bed, 2 bathroom) in this area would cost 250-350k.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
How do you envisage the future shared care of the children working?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

We have agreed to jointly parent the kids. In theory this means, sharing the week days and alternate weekends. In practice, the difficulty in the short term is that I will likely be away 4 days a week in the next 2-3 months. I would like to know if my wife has right to veto any childcare arrangements on "my days" if I may be away on one of them. I intend to have either their grandmother care for them on those days and/or a lady who has cared for the children on a daily basis for 5 years, who is my eldest son's full-time carer, and is well-loved by the kids. She has also done overnights for us and is willing to commit to helping me. My wife is unhappy with this suggestion but in practice she will also be working and so something has to give here. These arrangements are important as our my rights and the happiness of kids. She is suggesting that potentially if she vetos this arrangement and cares for the kids more in the week, I should move out of the family home. Also how we split the care will affect any financial arrangement we make.

Many thanks,

Robert

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Where would you each live in this shared care scenario?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I will live in the family house for now, which is up for sale currently. I think it is better that my wife gets a house and we have to start to live our separate lives. As soon as the house is sold I will get my house, my wife will have her house. The kids will split their time between us.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Relist: Other.
I have been waiting 4 days for an answer
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Clare -

I have responded. can you help with my question?

Thanks

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Relist: No answer yet.
Expert:  Nicola-mod replied 1 year ago.
Hello,
I apologise for the lack of reply. I've been working hard to find another Professional to assist you with your question, but sometimes finding the right Professional can take a little longer than expected.
I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you.
Thank you!
Nicola
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Yes - please continue the search, I am happy to wait for now. thanks

Expert:  Nicola-mod replied 1 year ago.
Hello,
We will continue to look for a Professional to assist you.
Thank you for your patience,
Nicola
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Ok thank you

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Relist: No answer yet.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
My apologies for the delay which was due to illness
Since she has the wherewithal to finance herself you do NOT have to pay her maintenance at this stage - although the large difference in your incomes means that spouse maintenance could be an issue UNLESS she moves in with her new partner.
In terms of shared care if you are not going to be there overnight on a regular basis then I am afraid that your ex is indeed able to insist that they should be with her - and vice versa of course.
However if the issue is about day time care then you are certainly entitled to make any reasonable arrangements for their care you chose.
The position with regard to the matrimonial home is more complicated.
Unfortunately the fact that she is committing adultery is not relevant so far as the courts are concerned BUT if they intend to set up house together then it will not be in the matrimonial home - unless of course they are able to buy you out and release you from the mortgage
You are however correct - the care of the children is key to the initial financial settlement - which is no doubt why your ex is hoping to establish the fact that the children spend more time with her than with you
This issue and the financial issues need s to be discussed with your ex usingFamily mediation
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details (I am better now)
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thanks Clare -

Hope you are feeling better. Does that mean my ex can overrule me on childcare arrangements including overnight when I am possibly away even if the kids are on my time. Also what is a normal amount that I should expect to pay for childcare maintenance if she is earning £35k per annum, even if she has chosen not to pay cash? She has also asked me to guarantee her rent and pay towards furnishing her house, which I am prepared to do so it is nice for the kids.

Best

Robert

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you
Unless you are able to negotiate a Parenting Agreement which states that whilst the children are in your care you can make those arrangements - otherwise she can indeed simply take over their care whist you are away
Your maintenance liability is 19% of your gross income subject to a reduction to reflect the number of nights the children spend in your care
Any other payments are up to you
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thanks - is that 19% per child or in total?

Kind regards,

Robert

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
No that is a global figure!
More details here
http://www.nacsa.co.uk/index.php/cs3-calculations
Clare

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great! Maggie
< Previous | Next >
  • Thank you so much for your help. Your answers were really useful and came back so quickly. Great! Maggie
  • A quick response, a succinct and helpful answer in simple English. I believe I can now confront the counter party with confidence -- worth the 30 bucks! Rick
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C.
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Kasare

    Kasare

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    204
    Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kasare/kasare.64x64.jpg Kasare's Avatar

    Kasare

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    204
    Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/TG/TGraham12/2012-7-17_81212_bigstockBusinessHandshake508163.64x64.jpg Thomas's Avatar

    Thomas

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    133
    UK solicitor
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/JO/jojobi/2013-3-19_0265_maxlowryphoto.64x64.jpg Max Lowry's Avatar

    Max Lowry

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    7
    LLB, 10 years post qualification experience
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/OS/osh/2015-7-7_19268_gettyimagesb.64x64.jpg Joshua's Avatar

    Joshua

    Lawyer

    Satisfied Customers:

    340
    LL.B (Hons), Higher Prof. Dip. Law & Practice
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/GL/Glossolicitor/2013-5-14_214834_TWMParkinsonWright.64x64.jpg Glos solicitor's Avatar

    Glos solicitor

    Family Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    2
    10 years experience in all areas of family law, now specialising in cases involving social services and children
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/UK/UKfamsol/My face July 2011.64x64.jpg UKfamsol's Avatar

    UKfamsol

    Family Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    240
    Very experienced specialist family law solicitor, qualifed in 1994
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CH/chathamchamber/2011-4-24_191833_1.64x64.jpg chatham-chamber's Avatar

    chatham-chamber

    Solicitor

    Satisfied Customers:

    182
    LL.B, Pg.Dip, LL.M, M.B.A (Pending), Solicitor-Advocate. UK Practising Certificate issued by SRA., DIFC Courts Registered (Dubai)