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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34276
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My 14 year old grandson has lived with his mother since he

Resolved Question:

My 14 year old grandson has lived with his mother since he was as born. Although she is not with his father my grandson usually sees him every few weeks or so as his father lives in another county some 50 miles away. My daughter and grandson have not been getting on and the incidences of rows and upsets are becoming more frequent. Due to this my daughter told me that she is thinking of sending my grandson to live with his father. I know that my grandson would be devastated if this happened as he told me he doesn't like going to his father's. I have had a huge input into my grandson's life since he was born and he stays with me and my husband often and our relationship is very good. I have suggested to my daughter that my grandson come to us as he will be starting his GCSE course and it would be detrimental to his education at this time. We live near to his school. I also believe moving him away at this time would have a detrimsental effect on his emotional wellbeing. My daughter has said no to my suggestion but I know my grandson would prefer to be with myself and my husband if he couldn't be with his mother. Would my grandson have a say in what happens considering he is 14 years old?

Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How realistic is the threat do you think, and how often does the young man stay with you?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My daughter has said before that if things didn't improve he would have to live with his father. However last week she said she had told his father to ring admissions to see if he could obtain a place in a school near him. I asked her not to do this and suggested my grandson came to stay with us so his life would not be disrupted. I also suggested some kind of family counselling or mediation. She told me later that she would try my suggestio. She later told me that my grandson didn't know that he maybe going to live with his father. I feel if things don't improve she will carry out the threat.

My grandson stays here one day a week on a regular basis. He very often stays for more than a week if he's ill and my daughter is working or to give them both a break from each other. I usually take him for dental/doctor's appointments as I am retired and to help my daughter as she is at work. My grandson is very often in my charge during school holidays too and his friends come here with him too. When he stays with a friend for a sleep over will pop in for something to eat. I live nearer to his friends than he does.

My grandson can sometimes be difficult and I understand my daughter's frustration as she has a 3 year old daughter to her partner (not my grandson's father) and she is concerned his behaviour will have a negative effect on his sister.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Has your daughter taken up the counselling suggestion?
clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Clare

Not yet. She said she has phoned and left messages for the school counsellor but has not had a reply. She told me that she has made an appointment with the GP for next week. Her partner knew nothing of this when I mentioned it in passing. I'm concerned she's just telling me these things in order to placate me.

I would like to add that I understand my daughter is the only person with parental responsibility. She has never been married to my grandson's father and I believe parental responsibility was only granted to unmarried father's after this date.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
In the event that your daughter does decide to hand over the care of her son then yo can make an immediate applictaion to the courts for permission to apply for a Child Arrangement Order (which will be given) and for the Child Arrangement Order itself
Given his age it will be your grandsons wishes that will determine what happens - since there are clearly no safe guarding problems involved in a move to your care.
The difficult issue is at what stage you act.
If you think that this is definitely a plan then you should arrange to discuss matters with your daughter using Family mediation and a mediator trained to work with young people.
www,familymediationhelpline.co.uk
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you so much Clare for your advice, it has been extremely helpful

Very best wishes

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
HI
You are welcome - I hope all goes as well as it can
Clare
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