My 14 year old grandson has lived with his mother since he was as born. Although she is not with his father my grandson usually sees him every few weeks or so as his father lives in another county some 50 miles away. My daughter and grandson have not been getting on and the incidences of rows and upsets are becoming more frequent. Due to this my daughter told me that she is thinking of sending my grandson to live with his father. I know that my grandson would be devastated if this happened as he told me he doesn't like going to his father's. I have had a huge input into my grandson's life since he was born and he stays with me and my husband often and our relationship is very good. I have suggested to my daughter that my grandson come to us as he will be starting his GCSE course and it would be detrimental to his education at this time. We live near to his school. I also believe moving him away at this time would have a detrimsental effect on his emotional wellbeing. My daughter has said no to my suggestion but I know my grandson would prefer to be with myself and my husband if he couldn't be with his mother. Would my grandson have a say in what happens considering he is 14 years old?
My daughter has said before that if things didn't improve he would have to live with his father. However last week she said she had told his father to ring admissions to see if he could obtain a place in a school near him. I asked her not to do this and suggested my grandson came to stay with us so his life would not be disrupted. I also suggested some kind of family counselling or mediation. She told me later that she would try my suggestio. She later told me that my grandson didn't know that he maybe going to live with his father. I feel if things don't improve she will carry out the threat.
My grandson stays here one day a week on a regular basis. He very often stays for more than a week if he's ill and my daughter is working or to give them both a break from each other. I usually take him for dental/doctor's appointments as I am retired and to help my daughter as she is at work. My grandson is very often in my charge during school holidays too and his friends come here with him too. When he stays with a friend for a sleep over will pop in for something to eat. I live nearer to his friends than he does.
My grandson can sometimes be difficult and I understand my daughter's frustration as she has a 3 year old daughter to her partner (not my grandson's father) and she is concerned his behaviour will have a negative effect on his sister.
Not yet. She said she has phoned and left messages for the school counsellor but has not had a reply. She told me that she has made an appointment with the GP for next week. Her partner knew nothing of this when I mentioned it in passing. I'm concerned she's just telling me these things in order to placate me.
I would like to add that I understand my daughter is the only person with parental responsibility. She has never been married to my grandson's father and I believe parental responsibility was only granted to unmarried father's after this date.
Thank you so much Clare for your advice, it has been extremely helpful
Very best wishes