In this house we have been here 14years, married for 16 years. We have 2 girls age 11 and 14. Currently they live with me 4 days of the week and 3 days with their father.
the house is worth approx 130,000 and on a repayment mortgage there is 56,000 remaining.
other assets are the contents of the house and the family car which he took, it's not of great value maybe £1000.
As far as I know the business is running in 2 leasehold buildings in which he has set up as car mechanics, he was running a year before we separated. he borrowed 25,000 from his father which he is paying back monthly.at £350 . He do own a lot of the tools and some machinery within the business
he is only declaring he takes £390 a week from the business which I do not believe to be true . I was a full time mother and housewife supporting him to advance. His career. I have now been working for the past 14 mths as a relief food assistant for the schools as I wanted to be there for the children on school holiday times. They and myself have been through a lot, I lost my nanny and my grandad within this year.
I am only garrentied 10 hours a week therefore I earn £60-£70 most weeks.
At this moment in time he is paying half of his mortgage and £69 child maintenance. He wants to stop paying the mortgage and has said willing for us to remain in the house until youngest child is 18, he wants me to be solely responsible for paying the housing cost and wants a share of 50% of the equity when it's sold and for his name to remain on the mortgage. I am constantly being controlled by him and do not see any relief unless I sell the property now and divide equity. any advise will be greatfully received . Many thanks debbie.
i have been to my mortgage lenders and I have been told I can't borrow Any further money on the mortgage or remortgage as my income is too low.
yes sure. just after my nanny passed away he left and we seperated. he pressured me when he knew i was grieving by bugging me to sort out an income for myself,as he wanted to pay as little as possible, ie: his half of the mortgage only.
i started a job 6 weeks after being on jobseekers as i was worried abt being ab;e to support our children financially and keep the home.
he plans stuff to do with the children and does not consult me and just expects me to let him have them on my days, he expects me to accept it or he tell the children to blame me for them not being allowed to go. he also expects me to have the children on his days when he has other plans for himself. he has intruded our privracy on a few occassions showing aggresion by bashing on the front door in a rage.
he constantly tells me the house is still his and he does not want any other male inside it. he formed a relationship 2 mths after we seperated and told the children not to tell me, since then he has been in and out of relationship with her, i have tried to protect the children from this enviroment but i just recieved verbal abuse.
my grandad the passed away in feburary and he filled for divorce soon after knowing once again i was at my weakest. he gave grounds on the divorce which were not completly true but i contest as i was told i would have to pay his legal fees which i am not in a financial position to do so right now.
he refused to face me in mediation as he said to me i make his skin crawl. this is just one exsample of the emotional abuse he tries to hurt me with.
i have recently started a relationship and he verbally made it clear he didnt approve. his latest attempt to hurt me was by calling child safeguarding to accuse me and my boyfriend for drinking and drugsin the presence of the children, as he knows this allogation is not true, i am not a drinker and have never been involved with drugs. my children have never even spent any length of time with the male in question as i felt they had enough to cope with righ now, therefore i only see him when the children are with their father.
I have raised the children and cared for them for 14 years and have always protected them from any harm and their father knows this.
this arrangement is what he demanded from the beginning. nothing has been set up formally. I am getting concerned about the effect his behavior is having on the children as things seem to be getting worse and I feel the childrens behavior is reflecting this.
The children are happy to go with him but do not like having to be looked after by his mum while he is working.
This something they have not said to me. They seem happy with the arrangements apart from if they have to be with his mum then they would rather be at home .
Tha you for that advise Clare it is very helpful . if the financial matter does go to court is the property the only agenda they will look at?
Hi Clare I have been offered by my ex and his solicitors 55% and I would have to maintain and pay for the property and when sold when my youngest reaches 18 he will pay me half only of the capital only that I have payed off. Please could you give me any advise.
also would I be able to do anything at all for him using slander towards me by contacting child safeguarding and making accusations against me .
i am very lost as what to do as he is trying to weaken me and take control. Many thanks for your time
Yes its repayment which is currently at 56000.