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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33319
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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There are other points which i'll list.

Customer Question

there are other points which i'll list. i don't know how important they may or may not be. I suspect he has a degenerative mental condition as in the time i've known him he has changed dramatically. he has mood swings, paranoias, lies. he was working when we were together on a low wage which was topped up by benefits. the benefits went into my account. his wage (about 1000 a month) went into his account. from my account i paid the rent, bills, food shop. everything. nappies. frequently overdrawn. my parents had to help me out.from his he didn't contribute. it was all just his money. to this day i have no idea what he spent it all on. when split. he didnt pay child support until i went through csa. and that had to end up coming straight from his employer as he didn't pay. my son doesn't want to see him. my daughter doesnt know of his existance. they both call my fiance daddy and my fiance has expressed a desire to adopt them although i dont know how possible this will be now that my ex is demanding access.

when we were together he went on holidays abroad on at least 4 occassions without me or his son. we never holidayed abroad together. also, he has accused me and my parents of racism towards him. i have collected various bits of evidence such ad my bank statement showing that i paid for his visa. i'm worried that his mental decline might be in part to do with drug use and that that might explain where all his money went to. i dont trust him to be around the children. i dont trust him to care for them physically or mentally. i dont understand why at the age of three he's allowed to waltz into my daughter's life. i dont feel that the children's welfare is being considered. i dont want him walking back into adam's life and then leaving again. i'm concerned about his unreliability and his mental state. i had heard that as he left when i was pregnant that he doesn't have a right to my daughter. is this true? we were still married at the time. the divorce was only granted last year.

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is ***** ***** I will do my best to help you
I am sorry but he has Parental Responsibility for both children as you were married at the time your daughter was born.
I understand your anger and frustration but the simple fact is that the law says that children are entitled to ocntact with BOTH parents even where one of them has previously showed no interest at all
At five I am afraid that your son is too young to have views on the matter which do not reflect how you feel and accordingly they will not be taken account of at court.
Equally sadly the fact that your daughter is not aware of the real position will be held against you (which is I believe unfair) and you will need to find a way of explaining the actual position
The mental health and drug issues will help in limiting contact to a contact centre
There is of course the possibility that if he realises that adoption will mean he no longer has to pay child maintenance then he will agree
Please ask if you need further details
Clare

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