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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34105
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My son is nearly 11, and has asked me that he does not always

Customer Question

My son is nearly 11, and has asked me that he does not always wants to go over to his house, he has friends here he wants to see, I have the residence order his dad has contact order, which says at my sons own pace, I do not have a very good relationship with his dad, I am afraid he will try to take him away from me if I say that he does not want to go thank you
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What is the current pattern of contact?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

hi there, my son goes to his dads nearly every weekend and during the

Holidays, have never refused contact.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi there , I have replied to you, have you any information yet? Thankyou
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
I understand that - but how long for each time - and what would your son prefer?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

hi clare, he goes for two nights, fri - sunday after noon, 3 weeks summer and half term weeks - he would like his dad to visit him at our house and take him out during the day and not sleep over as much, his dad does jobs around his house and gardening, and cleans his car and he lives out in the countryside, he says he is too busy with his own things to do, yet he wants our son at weekends, my son said he ends up playing on the x box on his own.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Would your son be happy with alternate weekends?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My son would, but his dad may not be happy with that as he does not see him all week as we live quite a distance from him.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
At 11 the focus is on what your son wants from the arrangements - not your ex or you!
It is always hard at this stage as it stops being just mum's time and dad's time - the child starts to want their time - understandable but still hard to accept,
You should arrange to discuss matters with your ex using Family Mediation
www,familymediationhelpline.co.uk
You need to use a mediator trained to work with young people so that your son's views can be included in the discussions.
If your ex will not co-operate then simply tell him what the new arrangements are and stick to them.
If your ex objects then he will have to go through the mediation process before court - and the court will wish to know what arrangements your son wants.
I hope that this is of assistance please ask if you need further details
Clare
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

thank you for your replies,

I am happy with your answer, if need help again I will get in touch , I found your answers helpful.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
You are most welcome - I hope all goes well
Clare

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