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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34234
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My wife is leaving me can you help with the following 1) I

Resolved Question:

My wife is leaving me can you help with the following
1) I would like joint custody 50:50 can she stop me. There is no abuse or record of it that I know of.
2) do I have to pay child Maintenon under a 50:50 joint custody. I need to work out my finances
3) if the kids wish could I have greater than 50:50 custody
4) in order for me to have 50:50 custody of the children my mum who is 65 and retired has agreed to move in with me as I work away from home 1 night a week. Will this affect my chances
Thank you
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and who had had their day to day care until now?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
They are 13 and 9 and we both do equally.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
My apologies for the delay.
Where are you and your ex each going to live and how do you see the arrangement working?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare,
When she moves out it will only be 15 minute walk away. I have no plans to move away either now or in the future. For me equal joint residency is a must. I can make it happen with the support of my mum just would like to be clear as to the likelihood
KR
Prub
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
What are the children likely to want (do NOT ask them)
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare,
The children do not know though I suspect they feel something is not right. I have a very close relationship to my son and less so with my daughter. I think my son would want me and my daughter her mum. Separating them is not an option as I want as less damage as possible. My wife is not disputing any access to them in fact encourages it though believes that with my work I can't do 50:50 hence my plan to have the support of my mum. This is what I believe she will object to her, the grandmother supporting me to look after the children,
Also I am in favour of pension sharing and her solicitor has recomend pension offsetting. I do not favour this as I need as much equity as possible. What is more the most likely outcome?. I have £165ish and she about £85ish.
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Ok
- how do you see shared care working - how will the children share their time between you?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare,
My wife's sees it as very flexible due to our work commitments, so a few nights with each parent weekly. I don't agree with his as I feel it would be like living out of a suitcase for them. I would rather a week each. I am currently agreeing with her propos though have suggested we need a better long term solution.
KR
Prub
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
A week each can be quite hard on children - an arrangement where they spend two nights a week with each parent and then alternate full weekends (Friday to Monday) achieves the same 50/50 result but can be more child friendly in terms of them seeing each of you throughout the week as usual.
The key is to agree the arrangements using Family mediation
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
using a mediator trained to work with young people so that their views can be brought to the discussions.
If the share is 50/50 then no Child Maintenance will be payable.
I am afraid that pension offsetting is the more likely outcome if this is what she is requesting.
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Clare ,
Thanks so far can you help me to understand whether providing child care with the support of my mum is an option and also why is it only her views when it comes to pension considered and not mine as that makes huge difference as to how I can adequately provide for the children.
Or
Prub
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
There is no reason why your mother shoudl not be involved in supporting your care of the children - but if you are always away one particular night of the week then it is more reasonable that they always spend that night with their mother
With regard to the Pension offsetting it is not about her views being more important it is about a practical approach to the division of the capital
Clare
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