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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34589
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Does my son's father who has every other weekend access with

Customer Question

does my son's father who has every other weekend access with our 4 year old plus one week for each of the holidays have to give me the address of where he is taking our son on holiday this summer?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Is he taking the child abroad or staying in the UK?
What excuse has he given for NOT giving you the address?
Clare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Clare,

He is taking our son to Majorca for a week with his sister and her husband. I think they are renting a villa. He says he won't give me the address because he dosn't trust me. I don't know what he means by this and i have explained to him that as lucian's main carer I want to know where he is for the week and that it all. I do not get on with my sons aunt who will be there and feel that it is her that is driving his decision to not disclose the information. I simply want to know where they are going and have said i do not need an exact address but want to know flight dates and where about in Majorca they are. And that i want to speak with my son every other day. My ex's sister has been hostile to both myself and her other brothers partners and I feel concerned that she feels that she can withhold information about my son's whereabouts. I have explained that i have no interest in anything other than knowing where my son is and that there are means of communication were something to happen. There is no reason for them to withhold information. I am very open about where i am with my son and feel that it is unhealthy to block me from knowing where he is.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

i cannot see any reason for him not to tell me at the very least roughly where they are. my concerns as a mother are that holidays and villas can be unsafe in terms of swimming pools (he cannot swim) and overall safety issues that are probably unlikely to pose problems but need to be noted. i.e. being left unattended, drinking etc…. an incident on christmas day 2012 at my ex's sister house led me to believe that she is not always around safety issues and there was very nearly a nasty accident as she put my son into a chair that attached to the table against my wishes and the whole thing came tumbling down with glass smashing everywhere. l was there to catch my son and there were no injuries. She suffers from anorexia and is as such focussed on food and whilst i am very happy for my son to go on holiday with his father's family i want to be sure that they understand that he is still young, at 4 and will need to be supervised at all times. I feel that my son's father's sister is preventing me from knowing where they are going and I do not think this is appropriate. I am not in anyway interested in trying to stop the holiday but i want to feel that as lucian's main carer that there is transparency about where they are in case of the need for contact.

i.e. there is no rational reason why he should be withholding information from me and is making it a bigger deal than it needs to be.

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Hi
There are two separate issues here.
the first is straightforward, neither of you are entitled to take the child out of the country without the agreement of the other party or an order form the court
The provision of the address of the accommodation and the flight number is ***** minimum information that a Court would expect to be given.
This is not a matter of the fact that you are the main carer - it is simple good parenting!
All the other issues you mention are sadly not relevant and could be construed as being over anxious
I suggest that you try and discuss matters with your ex using Family Mediation
www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
Please ask if you need further details
Clare