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Thomas Judge
Thomas Judge, Family Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 32826
Experience:  Over twenty-five years experience
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I left my wife at christmas time I couldn't stand to be in

Customer Question

I left my wife at christmas time I couldn't stand to be in relationship anymore and it was toxic in front of the children all the arguments - we haven't legally separated on paper but I have been lodging elsewhere for 9 months now and paying her maintenance through the bank. I have met someone new and we have been together 5 months now I knew her previously as friend only and rarely saw her only on odd social occasions and we only became close and decided to get together 5 months ago. My wife is now threatening my access to our 2 children and trying to claim that I was previously with this new woman but its not true. I've simply moved on and am now in a happy relationship and she hasn't. What shall I do to make sure I have access to my children and to protect them from a nasty court battle?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
The starting point would be for you to undertake some mediation with your ex. (a MIAM). If this does not work then you would need to be making an application to the court for something called a child arrangement order. You have rights and indeed responsibilities with respect to your children. It is not for your ex to make these decisions. Follow these steps to apply for a court order.Read the guidance - http://hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/cb001-eng.pdfFill in the C100 formSend it to your courtIt costs £215 to apply for a court order. Please remember to rate positively - thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and what is the current pattern of contact?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The children are aged 4 and 6 years old.
We have come to an agreement that I can have the girls every Thursday night over night after school and every other weekend to stay with me!
Craig.
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
I apologise for the interruption from my colleague. it may well be that mediation would be something which could work for you and your ex - before an application can be made to court, you are now required to attend a Mediation Information Assessment Meeting (MIAM). The aim of the meeting is to see if mediation could be used to resolve your difficulties, rather than going straight to court.If this does not work then you would need to be making an application to the court for something called a child arrangement order. You have rights and indeed responsibilities with respect to your children. It is not for your ex to make these decisions.Follow these steps to apply for a court order.Read the guidance - http://hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/cb001-eng.pdfFill in the C100 formSend it to your courtIt costs £215 to apply for a court order. Please remember to rate positively - thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiWhilst my colleague has indeed correctly explained the procedure for a court application I note that a court case is what you wish to avoidThis being the case you need to chose your mediator with care - preferably choosing one who is trained to work with young people so that the wishes of yourchildren can be brought into the equation.It seems that you have reached a settled pattern of contact that is working well - and which WOULD be endorsed by the court if the court becomes involved.Whether or not you were previously in a relationship is in fact irrelevant - you have been apart for a sufficient period for it not to be relevant to the ongoing contact assuming that you introduce her - in her new role as your partner - to the children in a tactful and gentle manner - ensuring that there are still times when it is just you and the chidlren doing an activity or on an outing.You can find help on websites such ashttp://theparentconnection.org.uk/Clare
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
Does that answer the question Craig or did you need any further help?

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