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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34133
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I split up with my husband 3 years ago and divorced last year.

Customer Question

I split up with my husband 3 years ago and divorced last year. Did a diy divorce no consent order, no maintenance. Agreed childcare arrangements 3 nights a week £250 a month on the statement of arrangements for children. He is now dictating the nights he is having them and will only have them every other weekend. I have built a new life for myself and work full time hours and I don't want this. I am open to change and flexibility but 3 nights a week to every other weekend is not what I want. What can I do? Can I apply for a share of his pension? We sorted the house out but not that. I can't see why I should be dictated to.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** I shall do my best to help you.How old are the children, how much were the assets worth and what income do you each have?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare, we had around £90k in equity when we sorted the mortgage. There was a large early redemption of £3499 on the mortgage so I paid all the costs and paid him £35k. I gave up work for 7 years to look after the children so got a job within months and sorted it out. I also was left with a £5k credit card bill which was spent by both but in my name. My boys are 9 and 13. I have a small pension with a transfer of £15k he has a civil service classic pension which is 15 years old - unsure of the value. He also has another small one worth around 6k.I currently earn 19700. I live with my partner who gives me monthly money towards bills etc. He currently earns £25500 plus regular overtime. He lives with someone else and they have a house together. MeAnt to say I agreed a reduction in maintenance to £200 per month.Thank you
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
How much Child Maintenance does he pay?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
£200 per month based on 3 nights a week. We take them on holidays and weekends away more so it never adds to 3 per week over the year. 3 nights to every other weekend is a big drop which I will struggle to cope with work wise. I can't agree it.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Over the last three months how many nights has he actually had them in his care?
What should the pattern of contact be?
If you had more maintenance could you make alternative arrangements if need be?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
3 nights a week usually with the exception of a few weeks of holidays etc. No the money is not the issue. The boys are settled. We came to this agreement in lieu of me not claiming pension
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I am afraid that there is simply no way that you can force your ex to have the children more often than he wishes.

I know that this is not fair - especially when there is already a set pattern that the children are used to

However if he will not stick to the pattern then a new one needs to be agreed - and if he has the children less he will have to pay more Child Maintenance

You will need to try and negotiate with him using Family Mediation to agree a new pattern.

If he has them from Friday to Monday alternate weekends plus one night in the week then tat would be five nights a fortnight

With regard to the money it is not too late to make a financial claim - but it is more likely that you will get a lump sum in lieu of a pension share since a Pension Sharing Order can usually only be made with in a short time of the Decree Absolute.

I am sorry to have to give such bad news - please ask if you need further details

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