The mother has some help from friends. The father lived with her for about 15 years and knows her well!!. Social services not involved. School happy with children who seem unaffected. but we contacted the school his morning and they will report back - perhaps giving the children a chance to off load. We saw them several times each week and gave them a meal on Tuesday and Sunday. Sleeping here sometimes. Her statement his morning followed us giving her a letter expressing our concerns to her and saying that her responsibility is to look after the children as best as possible with less total preoccupation with herself. Father seems normal and OK but seems to be in a relationship elsewhere and would not even discuss saving the marriage. He did not want custody. The children's needs are being met although not to the standards of support that we would give. Son ( age 10 ) is exceptionally talented and achnowledged as such at school.