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ukfamilysolicitor
ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1156
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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Could i also ask then if my husband would have a cause to

Customer Question

Could i also ask then if my husband would have a cause to refuse access regarding my health? I have suffered with depression (post-natal) for the past few years and have also been to psychology and i am currently attending psychiatry sessions. Through
these current sessions i am being assessed for ADHD and the outcome looks to be an official diagnosis once all assessments have taken place. With this, would i be seen as an unfit mother? My husband continues to say, "When i am better" he will let me see more
of my son. So far i have been amicable and agreeing to this, but i miss my son terribly and he always says he wants to stay with me when i tell him its time to go back to see daddy. My son also has autism spectrum disorder and my worry is that the longer this
goes on the harder it may be for him to adapt to his mum and dads separation. Thank you for what you advised before, it has definitely reassured me and i just hope you can advise me further regarding the above.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 2 years ago.
Hello
Please may I ask:
- what affect does your mental health have on your day to day functioning?
- do you think you can care for your son?
- how involved were you in your sons care prior to the separation?
Kind Regards
Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thanks Caroline for your response,I take anti-depressants, i work full time as an auxilliary nurse and i know i can take care of my son. Since separation i feel so much happier, my situation as it stands is, when i had the affair it was with another woman. So i literally came out as a lesbian to my husband and my family and friends. I have been so afraid of this all my life and have basically kept it all inside. As a result i feel for the first time in my life like i can actually be who i am and be happy too. And i am so much happier. However my family and my husband are very religious and my choosing to do this has basically caused them to all group together and say i am being selfish by doing this to my son. That aside, prior to separation, i took my son to nursery, played with him, took him out places, clothed him, fed him, gave him anything he needed whilst working full time. My husband who does not work at all, would say i didnt spend enough time with him on days where i had worked 4x12hour shifts in a row and was exhausted. so with regards ***** ***** i was then and always will be a working mother who would give anything and do anything for her son.Laura
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 2 years ago.
Dear *****
Thank you for your response.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are experiencing with you ex.
If you are holding down full time employment, fully engaging in mental health services and are able to meet your sons needs - then it sounds to me that you are handling the mental health issues that you have had really well. A court would want to see that you are engaging with any services offered to you - which you have already detailed that you are.
It appears to me that your time with your son is being unduly restricted and I do think you need to refer your case to mediation and also court if your ex continues to restrict the relationship you have with your son. I also agree that your son will benefit from the stability of a routine especially given his autism.
If you do decide to make an application to the court - ask your treating consultant to prepare a short report for the court to include:
- any diagnosis and prognosis
- the effect of any diagnosis on your ability to be able to care for your son.
A positive report will help support what you are saying and that the time that you spend with your son is being unduly restricted by your ex.
It does also appear to me that you have been suffering emotional abuse from your ex. If you can evidence this and you qualify in respect of means then you may be able to get legal aid and a solicitor to help you. Check out this link - in particular the GP letter - take it to your GP/ health professional and explain your situation in particular the way your husband has 'put you down' in respect of your new relationship and also in respect of your relationship with your son. If your GP is satisfied that you are suffering with a condition such as stress as a result of your ex's behaviour - and they complete the letter - take it to a solicitor so that they can assess you.
https://www.gov.uk/legal-aid/domestic-abuse-or-violence
Kindest Regards
Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you so much Caroline, i struggle a lot with the things he has said to me over the years, to the point where i really thought i was this bad person. The more i thought of myself in a negative way, i lost so much of my confidence and started believing what he was saying to me. Hearing what you have said has really helped give me strength to go and get in touch with a lawyer and fight for my son now that i know he has no right to say and do what he has been.I will go to my GP and follow the necessary steps to receive the help i am entitled to, in order to freely have access to my son which i should rightly have.Thank you so much again for your advice, you have no idea the impact this has made to me at this difficult time.Laura
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 2 years ago.
Your very welcome Laura
I'm glad I could help - I wish you all the best
Kind Regards
Caroline