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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34105
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Step son moved in with bio dad in June. Although he is

Resolved Question:

Hi. Step son moved in with bio dad in June. Although he is happy there his school report isn't good - since September he has been late 7 times, 2 detentions, homework poor in few areas as is in behaviour and effort. It was much better when was with us. Bio dad has said he is having to put everything on credit cards. Bio dad works so is out 7.30am-6pm. Step son home alone when he's at work. Bio dad the minute step son moved in refused to do any dropping off or picking up (he was doing when his weekend and then we'd do to the mums when her weekend) and has cancelled weekends step son due at mums and us saying step son wants to go round mates or the latest Devon with bio dad and half brother (3). He counteracts that he's not going to make step son adhere to a timetable (the court order) as he is a young adult (13) and shouldn't have to. We agreed Monday as step son getting angry not seeing mum that step son would catch the train down and I'd go pick him up and drop him and his sister (12, lives with us, same mum) to her after she's finished work. Then yesterday step son spoke to hubby and let slip he was going to Devon with bio dad. Mum says she was told he wanted to go to a mates for weekend. Nothing told to me. When asked bio dad it any way could be rearranged as step son angry not seeing mum was told by bio dad he would not stick to timetable as why should he say no to step son (yet says no to him using shampoo and conditioner, lol). He was so much worried about step sons anger towards mum Monday but then when I sorted out the train thing between him and the mum he started getting frustrated about her. They've never got on and ignore each other's calls and texts and kids suffer. My step daughter goes every 3 weeks to mums and is getting angry when doesn't see step son and is getting angry too. The mum has 4 other kids who go over Saturday's and we have 4 kids here. All this stuff effects them too. Where do we stand legally? Can he change the court order at such short notice without agreeing it with us or being totally honest? He's 13 but still classed as a child? Is he classed as a young adult yet?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** I recall your previous questions.When should the child spend time with you - not mum - you and your partner only?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Once every 3 weekends and a third of the holidays. Every third Christmas and half the bank holidays.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
How many contacts have been missed so far?The child tells you that he wishes to see you?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Since he's moved in with his bio dad we've missed one and rearranged work & the other kids (or the bio dad wouldn't let us see step son) out of 6 scheduled weekends. It's also always last minute. When step son lived with us he wasn't allowed to miss weekends or rearrange or bio dad would kick off. Unless he needed us to. His weekends with his mum and my step daughter who lives with us (she's suffering from missing weekends with him and is getting angry and upset over not seeing him) - he's missed 4 out of the 6 and always last minite.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Has your step son said that he is missing the contact with you?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He hasn't mentioned it to us and we haven't brought it up with him. He does however when he comes get upset if he thinks he is going to miss something. For example, his step sisters 3rd birthday he asked if he would be here for it, we said no it was his dad's weekend with him, he looked really sad and said "Oh, ok then". Asked if he would like to come and he cheered up and said yes please. We said we would ask but down to his dad. He visibly cheered up at this. He has been very angry at missing time with his mum and also gets sad when going home after being with us but once home settles back in
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
For clarity - to date he has missed just one contact?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
With us yes. I am worried will happen again and was interested to see where we stood legally if it did
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
If he misses another contact with YOU then you can apply to enforce the Order using a form C79http://www.daviessolicitors.co.uk/forms_davies/Children/Application%20for%20enforcement%20of%20Contact%20Order.pdfThe wishes of the child will be seen as important in this - so much will depend on what he actually feels about contactPlease ask if you need further detailsClare
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