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Kasare
Kasare, Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 204
Experience:  Solicitor, 10 yrs plus experience in civil litigation, employment and family law
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Can my ex husband give my child to stay at his parents against

Customer Question

Can my ex husband give my child to stay at his parents against my will?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HiThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** do my best to help you but I need some further information first.How old is the child and what is your ex actually proposing to do?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare, my child is 5 and a half and I have always straggled to live in peace with my ex family. He is always trying to take all decisions with out my consent because his father pays for my daughter's school they think they can decide everything themselves
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
he is telling me that my daughter will be with his parents for half of the time when he is working when i stop work to be with her
he can only take a week off work and the second week he wants my daughter to be with his parents which would be fine if they didn't try to turn my child against me
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
My daughter's father is very submissive to his mother and because she didn't have a daughter she has always tried to control me to have my child under her control. after the divorce i was so ill that they had her in every half term and would take her away to the south of the country 5 hours traveling so i could not see her at all
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
we have joint custody and in the divorce agreement she would sleep with him all the nights preceding school but nothing was decided about holiday and I would appreciate having them with her if i believe she was safe but every since this divorce happened they keep trying to destroy my relationship with my daughter and because of that she develop constipation and started biting her nails :( some times she comes home very sensitive and cry for no reason at all. and many times said things to me that I know it was not from her mind. Ex:"Mummy you only spend all your money on yourself"
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Sorry - how is your daughter's time actually shared between you and your ex?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
She sleeps at his house from Sunday to Tuesday. On Wednesday she sleeps at his parents and on Thursday she sleeps with me. every other weekend with me and him. so when is my weekend she sleeps with me from Thursday to Saturday and returns to him on Sunday night. when is his weekend he have her from Friday to Tuesday again.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
But I have to say he only let me have her one night a week because i let his parents have her one night a week. because in the beginning he was sending her to sleep at his parents 2 nights a week when i realized he was doing that i told him that I wanted to have her those two nights as he said it was too much for him to do every day the school run in the morning. he denied first and after a few days he came to "negotiate" and i accepted to be able to have her for one extra night.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Can you not take the child to school?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare yes I could but when I signed the divorce paper where he put this proposal on it I was so ill that I didn't know what I was doing. I thought i wasn't going to be able to do because I was so ill I wasn't sleeping and felling exhausted constantly. He doesn't me any maintenance. I have to claim house benefit and I work part time to support myself. at that time I thought it was better for my daughter. Now I'm not so certain as he is not happy and try everything to stress me so I don't to what i can do for my daughter.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
have you ever taken her to school?
Do you want to do so?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I take her to school every Friday as she is with me on Thursday nights. I would love to.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
How long has this pattern been in place?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Clare, I'm not English. I'm Brazilian and I'm 40 years old. I met him in Brazil when I was working at a hotel reception and he went there in holiday. it was a beautiful romance and we were very much in love but i didn't speak English very well and didn't know that he had serious problems. He is 48 and he had another child when he was 32 so his first daughter is now 16 and he also hate her mother because he says she used him to get pregnant as she was a asylum seeker who lived here since she was 7 years old and he says her visa was expiring
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Ok - but how long have the current arrangements regarding your daughter's care been in place?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
since we divorce things has been like this but what has changed is that his parents use to take her away every half term and when i got stronger i told them i didn't want that. i want to be with my daughter in half terms because when i was living with her father I wasn't allowed to speak my language in the house and because i was so ill when she was 2 to 3 years old and had to deal with the divorce she still doesn't speak Portuguese
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
So only I am teaching her to speak Portuguese. I put her in a school to learn on Saturday mornings but he doesn't take her there on his weekend. He says he doesn't want to loose a hole morning of his weekend with her. when he put her to lean ballet on Saturday morning last year i use to take her there and she was only not even that interested bu as she was having fun i did. She loves learning Portuguese but he never encourage her as she is fearful of me taking her away to Brazil as he would if he was in my place
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
we divorced 3 years ago
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Do you think your daughter would like to spend more time with you?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yes she does love been with me we have a great relationship and she also loves her grandparents but the problem is that I'm getting tired of seen them telling her lies about me and making her anxious about who should she love most. I am really concerned about her mental e emotional well been and I don't think they really care about that. ti seems to me that hating me is their priority and not the well been of my child. I have tried everything to keep that family happy but they keep offending me in one way or another. I have learned to defend myself but when it comes to my child I don't know what to do as her father have total access to her.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
What would you prefer the arrangements to be?

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