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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33325
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Clare the children's guardian offered me an appointment

Customer Question

Hi Clare the children's guardian offered me an appointment to meet with her next Monday 21st Dec I am so nervous and anxious How do I manage my self? Asma
Submitted: 12 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Hi AsmaWow it is really coming together now isn't it.the starting point is to remember that you need to let her see that you have changed.Acknowledge your mistakes and explain what you have done to changeClare
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare, that's all I can do be open and honest.
I have done my best. Legal aid I am very fortunate it's come through I just hope my solicitors to find a good barrister to represent me on the 06th it's all happening quick
I hope all my hard work pays off. I am going to continue with new courses to start in the new year
I have changed so much I'm more confident
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
You have changed - which is why it is inportant that they understand that you accept that you failed before - but you have worked hard to change.
I know that you feel she is the enemy - but you must not let that show.
She will refer to the past - and you must do so as well and explain how what you have learnt has changed what you would do in the same situation again
Clare
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare, you are right. I have to very clearly that the positive changes I have in my life I have worked hard. I now feel confident I am good enough mother to care for my two youngest boys. I have made mistakes that I have addressed the findings of the judge's judgement.
would it be useful to mention I have completed the CBT workshop?
I will 1.1 CBT
Also I feel I am aware of where I went wrong did not protect my children. Now I have
I want to make good impression and convince the guardian I want to be given second chance
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
All those points are good ones - well done
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare, I would like to wish you a happy Christmas happy new year and you have all happiness and good health.
I would like to thank you for all your support and advice and care.
I am so grateful. You have supported me for the past couple of years
I hope you continue to advise me I will keep you updated how I am getting on
I just hope I succeed in January
I continue to work hard get my boys back whey they belong to me their mother
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
I will always be here Asma - and you have done the work yourself !
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare, thank you so much it's a reassurance for me yes I have done this all by myself I put the hard work in thank you to you and people around me who know me are supporting me.
Not family members pple I trust
Asma
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare people are trust they trust me I have made changes
I do hope I reunite with my two boys
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
I am thinking good thoughts for you Asma
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare, I am hoping 1. Enforcement goes well I get my money or the house
2. I succeed in January for opposing the adoption
Clare is it really good sign that I have got legal aid to revoke PO and oppose AO?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Yes I believe it is
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare I am stressed about somthing?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Hi Asma
Is it something specific?
Clare
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
My cousin brother lent me £500 August Hearing now he wants his money back I told him I have not had my.settlement bit he still wants me to pay him back slowly.
I have no choice but to pay him back
He does not understand my.difficulties
He expects me To lend him 3k after I get my settlement
I dony want to help.him because he did not give me time to pay him back
How should I deal with this situation?
Asma
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare did you see my. Last question?
Asma
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare
It's ok.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
You do not need this added pressure but then your family have never seemed to understand that.
Offer installment payments for now and when you get your settlement produce a spread sheet showing that you simply cannot afford the loan
Clare
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare,
Thank you so much Clare I have offered an installment to my relative
You are right I will draw up a plan I am unable to loan money
It's best to keep my.distance I am grateful he helped me but ideally he should have given me more time
That's my family for me they were never there in my need
But I have to stay strong I will win the case with ex but need to look after myself mentally and physically for my children
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Well done you
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare, how do you deal with a person who does not open up to people? Do they have issues within themselves
I am starting to look after number 1 that's myself I come first
Family they go there owb lives
Asma
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare, I am more stronger and honest with myself I have to keep myself safe away from conflict I don't need all this
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Yes look after yourself first for the sake of the children
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare
It was my middle two childrens LAC review today I attended ex was not invited
The IRO threatened me
I was really upset
I saw my childrens photos they look really happy
But no movement of contactt
The foster carer view they are ready for contact but the LA are putting restrictions
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Well done for going - and good for the Foster Parents in speaking up
You shoudl not have been threatened - I hope you told the IRO how it made you feel
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare, I did tell the IRO how I felt I said I will take it up complaint or court
I am not invited to their next LAC review I think the IRO ans SW feels threatened by me I speak the truth and I speak how I feel
They don't feel I should be there
The foster carer is speaking up for me and my children
About they should have contact with me
I am there mother
I think IRO was being really difficult today
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Then you must report it.
Excellent news about the Foster Carers
Clare
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare how do I convince the guardian?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
You will stay clam
You will remember everything you have come to understand in the last year an dyou will explain how you have changed
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare I am feeling depressed today I don't know I'm worried guardian meeting
I meet barrister this week or early next week
I'm so nervous I am struggling to manage
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
You are allowed bad days Asma - you have lived through a nightmare.Just be nice to yourself on those days and don't ask yourself to do too much
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare
I need to prepare myself for guardian meeting I need to throght the judgement of the findings I accept findings and what I have done to address this
I thunk ex might be held court of contempt that he did not comply they will throw case out
I just want the guardian meeting over then I meet with barrister he will advice my prospect of success
His name is***** ives chambers I read his profile my solicitor is recommending this barrister to represent me
On the 6th
Clare what is my percentage of success do you think?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Asma you already know it all - you do not need to torture yourself by going through the paperwork - wait to do it with the barrister I cannot guess the percentages - I am just hoping for your
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare, I will wait until I see the barrister your right I don't want to torture myself
I just need to calm down after meeting today
The IRO will leave his post in April
but I think I should make a complaint
How he made me feel
I feel the professional are even still refusing to work with me
I am getting really upset felt let down by theMAsma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Yes you should complain - quietly and firmly - pointing out that they are so blinkered that they are not looking at who you ar enow and what the children need
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare,
I will do so thank you so much
I will make formal complaint. They just brushing me under the carpet and disregarding the changes I have made to my life.
how it's very important for my children to rebuild the relationship back with me in a gradual manner.
I feel betrayed I was only being truth full and honest srand my groukf
I am advocating for my children and myself
They need to get rid of ex his no hoper
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Do not say that to them - it may be true but you need to show that he is no longer part of your thinking
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare, ex considering withdrawn his application to discharge care orders of the children
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Which only goes to show that he is a serious time waster!
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare do you think now is right time apply for enforcement?
Because I have legal aid would this affect?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Did you fill in a financial form for the legal aid?
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Yes I did my solicitor advised me to give ex until 15the January if no completion to make the application
What do you think shall I wait until 15th
See the outcome what happens on the 6th Jan for the children application
Asma
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare shall I wait until the 15th Jan?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Yes I think that is wise given your current position
Clare
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare,
I understand there is NO gurantee I will get the money by the 15the Jan
If I apply for enforcement now then hearing won't heard in the next month or 6 weeks by then application outcome on the 06th January will be done
Also his prolonging it's going to have a huge affect on him
The more we delay applying ex will.have more time to pay
There is a buyer but no completion date been given by them
I am Still in a limbo here
My insinct says to apply ASAP then wait for a hearing to be listed
The longer I leave it ex will not adhere
If an enforcement is put in he might just might sell the house pay my money before the next hearing date
What do you think of this?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
In fact each day he owes you more.
There is no point in applying now if there is a buyer identified.
If there has been no progress by 15th January THEN you have good arguments
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
hi clare,
I understand that but currently he is not paying me a penny at the moment he knows the interest will incur but his motto is to sell the house at a higher price that's why his taking time to sell the house for more He can sell the house plus the interest he has to pay will come out. That's why his more desperate to sell the house for higher price
Nothing will happen to him his just going to make more money out of rent
The more months he keeps the house He gets more rent. His got more to gain then myself
I am getting annoyed his tacroce
What shall I do Clare?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
None the less you need to wait until January to have the strongest case
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare thank you should I just focus on this application for my two youngest? Keep my focus on meeting with guardian monday.
I have conference this thursday with barrister
I am nervous he will advise my prospect of success
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Yes you need to focus on what is most important - the children
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare, you are right I'm focusing on them
I recieved 3 certicates from Anawim award ceremony
they took photos too
I am happy I achieved in short space of time
I will show all this to my solicitor and barrister
Asma ­čśŐ
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
Well done
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
hi Clare,
Solicitor decided to make the application if the hearing is after the 15th January then she of the view we have given them.time until 15th. Enforcement application is in place she's feels they will have bit more pressure too
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.
More good news!
Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Hi Clare,
I seem to have lost my appetite today can't seem to eat. Meeting with barrister tomorrow I'm really nervous
I just he gives me some hope
Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I am really nervous I just hope he gives me some hope.
It's so scary courts and hearings.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Try and rest now
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I have read the court of appeal judgement. It's states a lot of points in relation to the CO and PO
Would this be useful to my application?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Yes they will - but they will need to be carefully used
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare really good news by barrister is confident I will get permission to oppose the PO
I will be further assessed
I am so chuffed
Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare are you onine?
Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare,
I have so hard for 3 years
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
I am so very pleased for you Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, barrister was so impressed his comment was he doesn't know what more I can do.
I have already done every thing I could
He will fight for me.
LA will have a shocker at January hearing
When they meet him
My situation has changed now than 3 years ago
My solicitor she was really supporrive
She asked barrister what else can she to strengthen my case?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
You have worked hard Asma - now you are reaping the benefits
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, all my 3 years of gard work us paying off. Slowly I am going to continue with what I am doing starting more courses in january
Sustained change to my life
My solicitor has put the trust in me. she advised me that I need to trust myself more.
The compliments I am getting from her and the barrister has gained me a lot of self belief I just hope the judge and LA respect and value the changes I have made and give me a second chance
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Do do I Asma - and you have worked hard so please believe in yourself
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, barrister informed me the next hearing will be no cross examination it will be written submissions
if we get permission then they will be directions assessments maybe
There needs to be clarification if the prospective adopters are the foster carers who have applied to adopt them or different family
I just need to relax now carry on with work I am doing
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Good news all round then
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi clare
I meet with guardian next Monday I will stay calm explain calmly changes I have made in the last 3 years
I will also say how my life has changed how I was 3 years ago
Sustained the change
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Yes that is exactly what you need to do
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, are you prout of me of all the hard work I have put in. Also I will continue to do so.
The LA and court will see the new change mom I am now than I was in 2013
Asma ­čśŐ
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
I am indeed proud of you
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi clare there is light end of tunnel
So I am going to look after myself be ready for January
Thank you for all your support and kindness
I will keep you posted you know I will
are you going to be available over the Xmas period?
breaking up for the holidays?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi Asma
I shall still be here!
Clare
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare,
That's great. my solicitor will be writing detailed statement for the 06th Jan hearing
She will be attending the hearing.
Ex has confirmed today via email from his solicitor he has withdrawn his application for discharge CO and he is not allowed to make application to oppose the Adoption orders
Will this affect my application I don't think it would because he will supprt my boys to returned to my care
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi
His withdrawal will not change the position for you at all
Clare
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, if I do get permission what will be the directions be?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
That will be a matter of assessments and reports.
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I have meeting with guardian monday. I will remain calm and I will answer the questions that I will asked by her I. will be honest and clear with my current changes I have made
January will be very important for me.
Lots to do
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Stay calm and remember to accept her criticisms if need be. Grit your teeth and say that yes you now understand the mistakes that you made.... do NOT point out she made a lot of her own!
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
hi Clare I am out today birmigham star city circus grand circus lots of pple
I am going to enjoy myseLf
Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, the guardian meeting went really well. She looked at all the reports and evidence. She asked various of questions I answered them honestly and calmly.
She asked me wether I would consider open adoption. To see my boys twice a year but my response was I would like my boys to be returned to my care.
Is that a positive open adoption?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
You gave the right reply - but the suggestion of open adoption is an improvement in itself - well done you
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, my eldest daughter she is long term fostering the LA stopped contact since February 15. They have not resumed contact at all. There reason is she has regressed.
What guarantee will there me that I will see my boys twice a year once the adoption orders been granted? If the LA can stop contact with my daughter they can also also stop contact with my two boys anytime. If my boys see me they regress then th adopters say to the LA to stop with my boys then they will stop it. I will lose my boys for good
Once they have been adopted no going back
I would rather be assessed then being considered to care for them then agreeing to two times a year contact.
I can't take the risk.
The barrister is not available for the 06th January hearing unfortunately. But another barrister will be available for the 6th
I was really upset. The barrister was available for the 7th Jan court had changed to the 6th it's such a shame.
This barrister gave me some hope.
But I have no option but for another barrister to attend. He is expert in revocation.
I was really annoyed with my solicitor not her fault to be honest it was the court.
One hour direction hearing
Do you think I will be ok?
Asma.
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Oh I agree with you - I just wanted you to see what a big step has already been made
i am sure that the other barrister will be just as good
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I have worked hard Clare for 2 years I want to be given second chance to prove I love care for my children. I can be good enough mother for my boys
I am scared I might not get a chance
Do you thunk I might have a chance with the guardian meeting being positive
Her first comment was she need to be 110% my boys will be safe in my care
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
That sounds positive - at least she is open to the possibility - a good start
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I was surprised meeting went well with guardian
Also she was impressed with changes I made but she still bit apprehensive
I am not sure what might happen in January hearing
Barrister is not available I was upset but I just have to wait and see
I did say to guardian I want to be given second chance with my boys
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
All sounds good Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare the guardian said it's not about the child welfare it's about legal test what does she mean by this?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi
What she meant is that last time when the Care proceedings were ongoing the issue was about the welfare of the children.
However that case was decided. Now the first stage is the Legal issue of re-opening the matter t
Clare
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, if the case is regarding re opening the matter of seeking leave to oppose PO for my two youngest children.
Do you think I might get permission?
Barrister is not available but he did indicatr prospect of success in regarding permission. he did say looks good
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Yes to both - I am hopeful based on what you have said
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, my solicitor said I have been granted legal aid for fathers application to discharge the CO
If he had withdrew the application why have I been granted legal aid?
I am bit confused
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi Asma
It is all a matter of things catching up - do not worry
Clare
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, my solicitor know what she's doing I am just letting her do her job
She is confident I will get permission if I am not successful then she said she will appeal
She wasn't too impressed when I told her the guardian offered 2 times a year contact she said it's not good enough
I did her my solicitor I would like my boys to return to my care she agree To the answer I have guardian
It's direction hearing
I am glad all is going right direction
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
I am quietly hopeful for you
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, last 2.5 years I have worked so hard perceived and also did not give up.
if I do get permission i will be very lucky
I been to many many firms
It's all happen right time made the changes in the last 6 months
Legal aid came through too. Solicitor has seen all the work I have done
CBT will start in 4-6 weeks I will be offered 1.1 sessionsAsma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
It is not luck - it is hard work and perseverence
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi clare that is true sorry my mistake spelling
I am waiting for the enforcement hearing date
Ex won't pay before the next hearing
The interest is mounting up
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
That will be your battle after you get the first week in January over
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, Have a great Christmas in the next few days happy new year Clare
Next brings good health and happiness joyful for you
Thank you for your care and support.
I Will keep you posted
January I be successful in getting permission
Also financial matter to be concluded is enforcement the last stage?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Have a good Christmas my dear

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