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Ask Clare Your Own Question

Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33293
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Clare, is enforcement the last resort to get my money

Customer Question

Hi Clare, is enforcement the last resort to get my money from the settlement?
Asma
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi Asmasadly yes - but put that out of your head for now - you have a more important case to prepare forClare
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare that is good news all will come to an end. Now and the children hearing next Wednesday what do I prepare myself for?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi
To stay clam and remain able to show the changes that you have made and your understanding of the past
You can do this Asma
Clare
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I have nor recieved the LA reports that had needed to be filed in court 24-12-15.
The guardians report is to be filed 06-01-16
I am really nervous I am anxious will I get permission?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi Asma
It is the first working day since 24.12 - it will tale time for things to come through - stay calm!
Clare
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I might receive on the 06th Jan.
I am trying to stat calm but if both reports from guardian and sovial worker is not postive then I do.hope my barrister and solicitor challenge the reports
I will try and stay calm
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
They will Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I dont know what is wrong with my solicitor I contact the court they informed me she made the wrong application for the enforcement also Ex160 fee remission form
What wrong with her she never used to make these errors before
I am really getting frustrated with her
She is still making errors all the time
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
It is a busy and stressful time of year - and the Court may well be the ones who made the mistake!
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, The October 15 is the recent application form no new forms come out yet.
I think the courts made an error it's all wasting time weeks
I am getting really agitated now Clare
This flat is annoying me cold and costing me more elecitric
The hearing next week don't know what will happen
I just feel let down by people I know
No bout understand my difficulty and hardship
This hearing the enforcement application I will self represent I will take a barrister this time it's way too expensive I can't afford any more
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
HI
Your anxiety is on the rise - which is no surprise.
Try and use anything you have learnt to relax - apparently colouring in is good
You are moving forward - stay calm
Clare
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, why am I starting to hate people who I am been surrounded by. I am starting to hate them why is this happening to me. Am i losing my mind?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi Asma
It is ok - you are just under a great deal of stress - you are allowed to be finding it hard
Clare
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, next Wednesday is very important to me. If I do get permission then the assessments starts. I have to start the courses with Anawim women's centre, women's aid, sure start for the parenting course. It's too much to deal with at one. I have the stress and the motivation to do all this I can. Also I will start gym go in the evenings for few hours in the week. I am righting lists down what I need to do each day.
It's a to do list.
I am waiting for CBT appointment. I have to look smart for the hearing next week. Calm and patient.
I am doing all this just for my two boys.
I will give my best shot.
I have to be motivated for them.
I will just ignore ex. He is a loser always will be a loser.
Enforcement will be sorted out very soon I have confidence in myself and my solicitor
She will not let me down
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Thats right - always remember that - and sleep - get sleep
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, yes I am sleeping well now. I have little nap in the evening
Sleep is important for me. Body mind therapy will start next week I am looking forward to the session
Asma
Thank you Happy New year
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
That is good news
Seasons greetings Asma seasons greetings
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, Thank you Seasons greetings
Will it be good new Clare Next Wednesday?
What are my chances do you think?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
I do not know Asma - but I am staying hopeful and thinking good thoughts for you
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, Thank you. But my solicitor she did say she will appeal if I don't get permission
That's an option
Judge will have to think good and hard about my application
I cant think of what else I should do I have done everything I can
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
You have indeed - you should be proud of yourself
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, it was not easy I must admit. Since the removal of all children March 13 the bail loss of children moving to London then applying for the financial settlement thwn moving back to Birmingham January this year all these courses with drew the application in Feb restart again
Property with ex the final hearing August still struggling with him all the debts
I am in not seeing my children since February
So much I have done
It's too much
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
It is a record of courage Asma - and of relying on YOU and that is what you needed to show - well done
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, courage, pain, patience, also financial burden I had to pay for legal fees
I am not if another woman would able to cope how I have.
Having 6 children by c section physically mentally challenges since 2004 I have been challenged with a lot of situations in my life abusive failed marriage
I dony think I can do it anymore
My focus is my two boys I want them back with me
Start a fresh
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
All of those words Asma - so be proud
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, my health is way important too.
My well being and happiness is most important I do hope I can continue with all this
Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare I did all this by myself.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Yes you did - and that is the most important point of all
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, my solicitor she had resent the application form ex160
She has confirmed to me
Hopefully that should be it
Wait for hearing
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Good start to the year then!
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, happy prosperous new year to you.
Yes she has sent the correct form. I.have to wait for the date of the hearing
I saw a nice dream I am with my children changing there nappies playing witb them
All my children running around
I dont know Clare will my dream come true
This time next year my two might be with me
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
As I said - I am thinking good thoughts for you
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, today I had a good flat clean, washed all clothes general house cleaning. My place is clean and sorted out. Frm next week court hearings will start review for my eldest son.
The courses have no started
Once I get my self in a rourine.
After out come on Wednesday need tp start preparing for assesment.
Contact will resume weekly basis for my own in February
My life is going be very busy
I just pray for my health I have good health physically and mentally to manage all this
I will start fit in gym time too of an evening
I will be travelling a lot to walSall for metings and assessment if all goes well next week
Also.weekly contact
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Well done on the planning - that is the way forward
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, it's 4 months since ex has been charged with 3% interest ( £150) a month
Doesnt this charge worry him the more months go by he has to pay more?
He doesn't seem to be rushed
Before the hearing comes for the enforcement hearing might pay just before the next hearing
His getting more time to pay
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
I d o not think he realises that you are getting extra money all the time
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, He is realising Clare but he is just being stubborn and arrogant as always
The more he can get for the house he may be able to pay
I think his failing to understand to moee harsh consequences that he has been faced and will face if he carries on behaving like this.
His doing this to make me suffer but every thing has to come an end enforcement is the last stage.
We will.ask for costs this time round
His solicitor is not showing any evidence how the sale is progressing
Failure from both ends
Ex still not realising I will be the winner in all this
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Yes this is your year I hope!
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, in your view do you think I have made significant changes?
Or do I need to make more changes?
Thank you
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
You have indeed made significant changes - and are making more all the time
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, yes I will be continuing to make more new changes. And start to rebuild my life with my two youngest children if I am successful next week.
I can start a fresh with them. My focus and motivation are my two boys. I will also make sure contact with my older son goes safely and positively. I am so looking forward to have weekly contact with him in Walsall. It's just a shame I will have to speak to ex which I really want to avoid.
I do not want himto manipulate me or my son.
I want contact to be safe and happy for both me and my son.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
That is exactly the right approach- well done
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, if I do have an assesment how many weeks will the assessment be for?
I have planned each week of contact for me my son we will both choose activities he would like to do
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
It is impossible to guess what the form of the assessment will be - but you are certainly doing so good planning
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, will it be like the assesment I had during care proceedings?
Will this be involved family members?
Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, my housing is a major issue. I am going to apply for 2 bedroom property with council or housing association
I can't no longer live in a private property the landlord does not even give proper heating
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
This is another clear example of how you have learnt to deal with your own problems Asma - rather than expect others to solve them for you - you have come so very far
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I did and I do have the ability to sort it all by myself. But the difference was I was with abusive man plus challenging needs children which I couldnt cope.
Plus the supprt from the LA was only for my daughter
Now I know where I went wrong and doing my best to rebuild my life again
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
And you are doing it well
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I am really nervous for Wednesday hearing. I have to attend 9.30am. It's a hour direction hearing. How do I prepare myself. Today I have bought my self a gas heater for my flat. Now my flat is really nice and warm. I have made an effort to solve my Heating issue in my flat. £100 with gas calor. But it's worth it. It's should last for a month. My usage of electric will come down a lot.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
You will stay clam and you will get sleep.
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, yes I will hopefully sleep well.
I am praying too.
It's going to be a important day for me
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
that too is a good idea
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I just want to motivate myself to join gym of an evening. Put myself in a good routine.
I just want to have a clear head so I can make right decisions. Everybody who I know is rooting for me.
My child care solicitor will be attending the hearing.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
We are indeed all hopeful
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I am bit annoyed. My supprt worker from Shelter housing has gone on long term leave
Another support worker been allocated bit she's unable to attend Wednesday hearing with me
My support worker from Anawim she also unable to attend
I do get frustrated with things like this
Not consistent supprt from these particular organisations
I feel hopeless
What can I do Clare in this situation?
Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare
My immediate family are useless.
They have there own lives
I really don't know what else I can do rebuild support network
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Stay clam
Yes it is disappointing - but you are building your own network slowly - and you will be ok
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare I won't let this get me down that's shows these organisations know I can manage myself it's confident booster
My family know I can do all this by myself
I.dont need anybody to supprt me
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
That is right - you can do it for yourslef
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I am so so nervous Clare. I feel nothing works out for me. Nothing works out with the property matter with ex and also the children matter. I just think unexpected might happen
I just can't predict what might happen
I just feel really anxious confused
That everything will fall apart
It's unexpected thing that worries me I am sorry plse can you help me to think positive and what ever will be will beAsma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
It is entirely understandable that you feel this way - do not be ashamed of it .
Simply remind yourself that you have done all that you can and you will continue to do so
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, child care solicitor will attend as well as barrister. I do have my solicitor there to guide me
I have done all I can I am fully committed to continue
I will not give up. I have this gut feeling it will go well on Wednesday
We can move forward. Carry on with the work I am going to do
Asma
I am thinking positive hoping for the best
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Well done - stay strong
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, my only focus is to look after myself and my children.
I am not answerable to my family.
My focus is to resume my relationship back with my children
I am living for my children.
My life won't be like this forever
I will.be financally better very soon
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Good clear thinking
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare the guardian report is very unhelpful
She says I have little understanding of the over riding impact of living In her household.
By returning children to my care she does not believe its in their best interest
She believes I have nor made necessary changes to enable me to positively and successfully parent my children
She can see no.evidence of real change or understanding of how to care for her children
I am really upset and guardian is such a liar.
She not saying the truth at all
What can I do can I challenge this report?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
OKstill not the end of the world.What you have to do now is work out what she means.If we can show that you have worked that out and can reflect on it then that immediately proves her wrong.So what do you think she means?
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
To do that you have to stand in HER shoes and not your won so think it through as an outsider looking in
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, she has no trust with me that I can safely look after my two children. They just want to do what they wanted to do is get my boys adopted. She can see no evidence. She needs to be crossexamined by the barrister.
She's hasn't observed me with my children. My view is she has major major concerns but only the past reason. She's not acknowledging that I have moved on from my past environment. I accepted I made mistake but she is lying stating that I have not accepted
They just want the children adopted that all they are after.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
I understand why you feel that way - but it is important that that is NOT the approach you take tomorrow.So think it through what do you think she means when she says this
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I feel all the LA have personal grudge against me. I feel they are being like this because of my skin color.
I have no confidence now. I think my solicitor and barrster will fall in the LA trap.
They might tell me to withdraw my application again
It's my skin color
They doing all this to punish me.
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Asma
You MUST put this approach aside - it is exactly what they are banking on.
You KNOW why the Care orders were made and you must not be tricked into denying it.
Take the time to look at it from their side and see what it is you need to show tomorrow - that will surprise them a great deal
Clare
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I am sorry for my outburst. I will go tomorrow to the hearing with a positive attitude. Go with my head up high and fight for my boys. I will request for an full parenting assessment to the judge via my legal rep. Also go with a positive mind set. I will be taking a long list of courses I have started and will continue to do while assessment is going through.
I have put the guardians report put a side and focus on the upcoming changes I am going to do.
That's all I can do hope I can be assessed fully.
I won't let LA and Guardian report put me down. I will carry on with a big smile and ready for the hearing. I will dress well and look smart for the hearing tomorrow.
Wish me all the best for tomorrow. I can give you good news
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi
Now THAT is what I needed to see.
You must say that you accept her reservations but wish to show that you have indeed changed and do realise how difficult living in your household was for the children in the past
Clare
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, you are right I will write a mini statement to give my solicitor to show all parties tomorrow and show full commitment that I am willing to work with the LA what they require of me to do enable my two boys to be reunited in my care.
How I have my life around completely 3 years ago.
They will see a new better healthy mother
Who is totally devoted to my two boys.
I will seek advice and guidance from the LA.
Nice gental attitude and calm
I need to show a brave face. Accept there issues but I have moved on from all this start a fresh with my two boys
What do you think?
I am going in right direction
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
That is all goodIf you can add to that the ability to say that you do understand the need to understand and reflect on the past then we can ask no more
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, Sorry Clare I did not understand your last answer to my question
What do I have reiterate to them?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
You need to say that you understand how difficult the children would have found living in the household during this period
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare,
When they were in my care?
And also understood fully now that my children needs come first before anything else
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare and I accpet there concerns and moved on made necessary changes for this not to repeat
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
HI Asma
Yes when they were in your care - it was not a safe place and you need to say that you acknowledge that and will work at ensuring that they will always feel safe with you
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Good morning Clare, I am in court now. Judge had called barrister and advocates is that normal judge calling advocates before hand?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Yes it is not unusual - it helps the Judge get an understanding of what is required
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, barrister is not confident guardian report is disappointing
Ak so judge indicated that I have not mentioned anything about the boys how I will care for them
I.think I will.have to appeal
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
HI
OK stay positive - I am sure you can actually speak about how your care will have changed
Clare
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, I feel the barrister is not challenging the LA enough. Also I feel his not fighting for me it's too late at this stage
What else can I tell him to do?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
You must stay calm and not show your agitation.
Say quietly but clearly that you felt it important to address the past in your statement - because going forward you can show the changes you will make.
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, why is barrister not challenging them?
Has he lost confidence?
With the judge?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Sometimes direct confrontation is NOT the best way forward - indeed in court it very rarely is
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, can I request to be cross examined?
Before any decsion is finally made,
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
You can certainly tell the barrister you wish to give evidence directly yes
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, will I be given evidence today?
Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, the father is not opposing the adoption order of two childten
Also can I request a parenting assessment to be done I will pay for this
Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, by 20.01.16 I need to file statment. 12-02-16 hearing for permission
Can I look for a parenting assesment privately?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi AsmaWell you have got over the first hurdle and you did wellYou can indeed ask for a private parenting assessment to be done
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi why the LA not willing to assess me?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Because they are closed to the idea that you have moved on I am afraid
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, will I need to seek permission to.court for apply for independent parenting assessmemt
At least the judge has given me time to.file detailed statement
Is that a positive?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Yes that is a positive - and yes you will need permission to file an assessment.
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, do you think I will get permission?
Ex is proposing to transfer house in my name.
He wants a percentage I dont want him to have to take any remainer
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
I think you could maybe manage it a different wayAre you working in a nursery or something similar?
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare sorry I didn't fully understand your answer?
Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare should my legal aid cover PA?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
It is unlikely that the Legal Services Commission will fund it I am afraidI am trying to think of a different way of showing that you are better able to focus on the real needs of children.Have you done some work in a nursery or playgroup?
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, yes I have when I was in london
Also I was informed by mckensie friend legal aid should cover PA
I am a bit confused
I was hoping ex would pay my money I can pay privately
Shall I call legal aid ask them will PA cover legal aid?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
It is for your solicitor to make the application, but I am afraid that things have become much more difficult now.I think you should try and find more voluntary work with children to show that you are able to understand the needs of children
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, who do I approach? Maybe sure start centres?
I got to start all the courses I am just really tired and deflated jusy to prove
Ex supports the LA adoption order I was really shocked
He is one nasty person
I knew he will withdraw and put all pressure on me
He doesn't want to pay me
His getting away with everything
I lost everything
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Of course you are tired - but you can offer to help at a school as a volunteer or something similar - ask one of your support workers about it.Your ex is not a nice person at al - and never cared for the chidlren - that much is clear
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, it's very unfortunate my children to have a nasty father like him. He doesn't deserve these children
His doing this to spite me. Control me bur he can't anymore
Even I dony get the children hearing will still have to pay my full settlement
OK. I will enquire with my.supprt worker volunteering in school or sure start centres
I am hoping legal aid will cover the PA
But how could I afford to pay privately
That's the problem ?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
You are doing all you can If the Court Orders an assessment then it will have to be done - and a private one may not be necessary
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, when will the court order this at the hearing in february 2016? I spoke to my support worker regarding volunteering at nursery she said it wont be possible they will have to do checks.
I am waiting for my solicitor to respond to me will legal aid cover the PA. Also if PA should be done soon or after the contested hearing in January?
ex is not opposing the adoption order will this affect my application in to revoke PO or seek permission?
I am doing all I can I was really upset at my courses today.
Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare are you online?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi Asma
Do not worry - your ex's position is not of any real relevance
You can still have a DBS check done so that you can volunteer
The Care proceedings will be mentioned but it should not prevent you from helping somewhere
The parenting assessment position is more difficult so be guided by your solicitor
Clare
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, yes I will be guided by her. Who does the Crb checks?
Parenting assessment is worrying me more
I will not be given an opportunity to be observed witb my two children
That's a real unjust by the guardian and LA
I.will not give up
Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, should I agree for the house to be transfered in my name and sell. If I don't get the settlement amount when selling the property will this be worth all this hassle?
I don't want my benefit to be affected?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
I assume you do not wish to live there?
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare,
No Clare I don't want to live in that house.
It's in Walsall
Near ex lives
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Then ask the court for an Order allowing you to deal with the sale - but =not for it to be transferred into your name
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare, That's an option.
Would it be good idea to make a formal complaint the Local authority refusing assesment?
Asma
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi clare complain not a good idea then?
Asma
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
NO not at all - I am afraid that at present they can quite properly say that it is not yet necessary

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