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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34106
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My husband and I are going through mediation then divorce.

Customer Question

My husband and I are going through mediation then divorce. He hasn't lived with me and the kids for over 3 years but is now saying he will move back in as the house is in both our names. The house is due to be put on market soon so we can go our separate ways. Can he do this? Just move back in? I don't want him to.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HIThank you for your questionMy name is ***** ***** do my best to help you but I need some further information first.What settlement have you agreed - and why does he suddenly wish to move in?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We are still in the mediation process. It keeps being held up as he is not been providing his paperwork.
He wants to move back in as he says he cannot keep paying for both properties. The house is mortgage free. He pays me an allowance monthly (we are still to agree what final allowance will be during mediation as it doesn't cover my expenses).
I do not work (have been home maker for over 5 years). He is on a 6 figure income.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sorry, hi Clare. Thank you for helping me. Being upset let me forget my manners!
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
He is clearly using this to bully you
How old are the chidlren and has there been any abuse?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Kids are 9, 12 and 13.
No physical abuse.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare,
Reason given for divorce is 2 year separation. Divorce petition was held up by husband's solicitor. They requesting to see it before lodging and then did not get back to my solicitor. Divorce then put on hold until after sale house for financial reasons. Mediation ongoing to agree on split before house goes on sale. Husband now saying he won't agree to sale of house.
Jackie
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Has there been verbal or emotional abuse?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yes. He was very mentally and verbal abusive to me (never kids) in the last year we lived as a family abroad. I moved back with kids for schooling (as we agreed). He had a 9 month long affair while abroad which started while I was still there. After I found out (via friends) he didn't return to uk on my request to try and safe marriage. He chose work/business over his family. It was only when I decided to divorce him that he moved back. I decided on divorce in Oct 2014 after he broke yet another promise (to move back by Xmas. Instead he decided to stay on till bonus in March 2015). Sorry obviously there's a lot more to it but that's it in a nutshell.
We have been married for 20 years, been together for 26. I suffered a mental breakdown and am still dealing with the after affects of that.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hello?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
My apologies for the delayLegally your ex is entitled to return to the Matrimonial HomeHowever if he does attempt to do so then you can apply for an Occupation Order based on the fact that will cause unnecessary stress to the childrenAlternatively make it clear that if he moves in then you and the chidlren will move out and you will apply for spousal maintenance to pay for itI suspect that in fact he is using this to pressure you into a settlement that is not favourable to you - please do not let it workPlease ask if you need further detailsClare
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks Clare.
I got hold of my solicitor and we will advise him that I will be seeking an Occupation Order if he proceeds to move in. Hopefully it will stop him stalling the mediation as well and it will move everything along quicker.
I'm also getting divorce procedures back on track.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank is good news.
It is very easy to allow the process to slip during negotiations because you are the reasonable one!
Clare

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