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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34283
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have a 7 year old son who on more then 1 occasion has requested

Customer Question

I have a 7 year old son who on more then 1 occasion has requested not to go see his dad, he is very strong minded and knows what he wants
What can I do as there is a contact order in place
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How often does he see his father and what explanation is he giving for not wishing to do so?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Every other weekend and Monday and Tuesday evening after school
He say his dad always snaps at him and he's nasty he's also revealed that he is frightened of him to our this occasion he wanted to stay home as he'd just spent the weekend with him
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Have the school raised any issues?
Clare
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No he enjoys school and doing very well
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
OK - so he hasn't said anything at school?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No nothing yet
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Have you considered trying to discuss this with your ex?
When was the Order made?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The order was made in 2014
My ex is not an approachable person I have my own issues with him aside from my son I've not been unreasonable in contact and just would like my son's feeling and wishes to be listened to
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
I am afraid that at 7 your son is a little young for his wishes to have any weight.
i am sorry to be harsh but a Judge is likely to point out - very sharply - that you would take him to the Dentist, or send him to school, no matter what his objections.
Accordingly you need to plan the next steps very carefully
The starting point is to try and discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation http://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/
using a mediator trained to work with young people so that the child's views are brought to the table.
You should also ask if there is any support or counselling available via the school for your son.
If the situation continues then you will have to consider making an application to vary the existing contact order - but you do need to be able to show that the current contact pattern is causing your son distress. - and that he has spoken about it to someone other than you
I am sorry to sound harsh - but it is important to ensure that you are prepared for the fight
Please ask if you need further details
Clare