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ukfamilysolicitor
ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 724
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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I went to court child arrangement order against my ex

Customer Question

I went to court for a child arrangement order against my ex husband.he gets to see them every other fortnight,the problem is is that when they are there my ex and his family bad mouth me and my partner in front of them. he is very manipulative even bribing my son with money for him to go and live with him. he has just booked a holiday for them in school term time without my permission and when I said no he told the children and of course they got upset. I don't know what to do next.
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 10 months ago.
Hello
Welcome to Just Answer
I am a Solicitor and will assist you.
Please may I ask:
- when were the previous proceedings?
- what were the issues in those proceedings?
- how old are your children?
- where is your ex planning to take them abroad?
- how long for?
- any concerns he's unlikely to return?
Kind regards
Caroline
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
the arrangement was put in place a year ago
every other weekend he would collect my daughter from school on Friday and return her at 6 on sunday, because of his work I allowed him to collect her later at 4 even though I don't have to.
daughter is 7 and son is 15,he was given the option to see his dad when he wanted but only chooses to go when his sister does.
he booked a holiday in the uk and wants to take them out of school for 2 days even though I have given him 6 weeks of school holiday dates to choose from.
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 10 months ago.
Hello
Thank you for your response.
Had your ex approached the school? What have they said?
Kind regards
Caroline
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
no he had not ,he told my son to inform me
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 10 months ago.
Hello
Do your children want to go?
Do you think the school will agree?
Kind regards
Caroline
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
of course the children want to go,what child would not want to go on holiday instead of school and no the schools will not be happy.
what about the bad mouthing,bribing and manipulative behaviour.
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 10 months ago.
Hello
One more question - do you think your children are safe with their father?
Kind regards
Caroline
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
they are physically safe but emotionally are not. my son broke down on sunday and was so distressed . my ex gets at me through him and it is now affecting him.
all I want is for ex not to bad mouth me and my partner in front of the kids and major decisions like taking them out of school should me made through me first and get my approval
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 10 months ago.
Hello
Thank you for your response.
I am very sorry to hear about how your ex is acting.
I do agree that he should consult with you before booking holidays and taking the children out of school.
The courts do agree that children do enjoy holidays and shouldn't be unreasonably denied the opportunity of going on holiday. This is however on the proviso that there are educational needs will be met.
In reality the outcome is going to fall with the school. If they say no to a request for additional leave then your ex could land himself in issues with the school for unauthorised absence.
You need to approach the school.
The emotional well being of your children is of course very important. Your ex should not be acting in such a manner. In relation to your 15 year old - he could if he wanted to simply choose not to go to his dad's. The court wouldn't entertain an application for a child arrangement order - given his age.
This is of course different for your 7 year old daughter. The court would expect you to encourage a relationship. If you withdrew contact as a result of your concerns then it's likely that the father would apply to enforce the order he had. The court would of course consider your concerns in respect of your Daugher when deciding the case.
You therefore need to keep an eye on things. If you are so concerned the you can withdraw but he will likely issue at court. You need to weigh up if your daughter is safe. You can of course contact social devices if you are concerned there is a risk.
It's a balancing act that you have to preform. It's not an easy task, you need to prioritise your daughters needs and promote the relationship - not an easy feat!
Please do not hesitate to ask if I can clarify anything for you.
Kind regards
Caroline
Please kindly remember to rate positively so that we receive credit for our work
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 10 months ago.
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